E’s college tour: Day 3

Posted on April 12, 2024 by Tessa

Day three found us at SUNY New Paltz, “in the stunning Hudson River Valley.” (according to their website)

While Johnson & Wales* was very urban, and Purchase was very closed and artsy, New Paltz seemed a really nice in-between. The campus was large, but filled with tress, flowers, and lots of green space. The buildings were a mix of architecture and many were visually interesting. New Paltz has a fitness center and a pool, which Eve liked. We had a very nice tour guide and only one other family on the tour with us. The tour was pretty comprehensive, which was great. Eve likes the wide variety of academic options, perfect for her Liberal Arts heart. :) She thought the campus was too big, but was eager to do our own little walk after the tour for a King Gerald photoshoot. She found her way around campus with no trouble and seemed confident.

So far this is my favorite of the three we’ve seen so far. She is still very undecided, but feeling comfortable with the process so far. She’s eager to see the other two on deck. We’ll be vising University of Maine at Farmington on Wednesday and SUNY Plattsburg next week.

On our way home last night we stopped to visit Joyce at her new house. It’s a lovely little house, and will be even lovelier when the rain stops and (unrelated) when she’s fully unpacked and settled. We all went to the Olive Garden to celebrate the end of this trip. Then E and I drove home through awful rain, fog, and wind. We were both VERY ready to be out of the car by the time we got home at near midnight!

* Johnson & Wales University is abbreviated to JWU and pronounced “J-Woo.” Whenever E talked about J-Woo (and she says it smoothly, like it rolls right off her tongue), all I can think about is “woo girls” from How I Met Your Mother. Young, usually drunk, party girls who yell “woooo” about everything. Every time she said something about JWU, I had to stop myself from yelling “wooo!” 😂 I guess if she ends up going to JWU, that’s something I’ll have to work on! LOL.

E’s college tour: Day 2

Posted on April 10, 2024 by Tessa

Today we visited SUNY Purchase, a very artsy school in “Westchester County, one of the oldest and most well-established destinations in the scenic Hudson Valley.” (according to their website)

The area is beautiful and expensive, but the college is all Brutalist architecture and Eve didn’t love it. It is very much an art focused school and it seemed like you would need to declare a firm major (graphic design, sculpting, painting, etc) when you enroll. They say they have sciences as well, but it’s clearly an art school.

It seemed like there was a lot to do on campus, but there was nothing within walking distance off campus. The tour guides said most people live on campus for all four years. They showed us all of the art studios and spaces, and a dorm room, but not the dining hall, underground tunnels (between dorms and the dining hall), or the library. We were struck by how few people were out on campus. It wasn’t as sunny and beautiful as the day before, but it was pretty nice for a spring day and we only saw dozen or so students out and about. I asked the tour guide about it and she said that people spend a lot of time in their studio spaces, working on their projects, especially now that it’s close to the end of the school year. She said they have regular events on campus and everyone comes out for those, but otherwise what we were seeing is pretty standard.

Eve loves art, as we know, but while we were discussing the visit over lunch (at a delicious pub!) she decided she didn’t want to be at an ALL art school. She wants some sciences and some variety. She also liked the area, but not the campus itself.

Tomorrow we’re off to New Paltz!

E’s college tour: Day 1

Posted on April 9, 2024 by Tessa

Johnson & Whales University, Providence, RI

Big “small” school, right in the middle of the city. Cool dorms (pet friendly, AC, high ceilings), energetic tour guide, beautiful day (no thanks to JWU). We had a nice tour, but it’s definitely a city college. The green/quad is very small and surrounded by three buildings and a road. All of the other buildings are within a several block radius and many are old buildings with local “charm.” The building Eve’s classes would be in was the newest building, but it looked like a pretty small department. She liked the tour, but isn’t sold on the location. (I agree, but it’s not up to me. 😉)

Gerald came along for the ride. He’s not a very good driver.

HBD E – 17!

Posted on March 31, 2024 by Tessa

Baby Eve turned 17 today! Not such a baby anymore, but she’ll always be my baby.

I had lots of celebration ideas, but she vetoed them all this year, so instead we’ve had a really nice low-key day. We had presents and cake in the early afternoon, with Lex joining us via Discord. :)

The usual birthday table. The yellow thing at the bottom is actually a present, not the table. :)

E decided she wanted to spend some time in nature, so we took a walk along Mink Brook, a Connecticut River tributary. It was a beautiful day. We brought Huxley along for the outing and we all had a lovely time.

We had dinner at Molly’s and now we’re home, watching The Simpson’s, E’s favorite show to watch with her daddy. Overall it was a beautiful day for a beautiful girl.

Also, it’s Easter! I totally skipped it this year. We put up a few tiny decorations, bought some jelly beans last week, and that was it. No eggs or baskets or anything. Oh well. Happy Easter to those who celebrate it better than I do. Happy Birthday to those who celebrate today (both E and my bestie Lisa!). Happy Sunday to all. 🐰💖

Ear Pain and Urgent Care

Posted on January 3, 2024 by Tessa

Eve woke up on New Year’s Day with stuffy ears that progressively got worse as the day went on. By the evening they were pretty painful and she couldn’t hear very well. She went to sleep that night with hot packs on her ears. The next morning she stayed home and I took her to the doctor. We couldn’t get an appointment until late morning though, so I gave her pain relievers in the morning to help. By the time we got to the doctor she was feeling less miserable, of course. The doctor said that Eve’s right ear canal was so swollen she couldn’t see the tympanic membrane (eardrum). Her left ear looked a little swollen, but not as bad. The doctor prescribed ear drops and sent us home. By the evening Eve was in major pain again, in both ears, and it continued through the night. She barely slept at all, was up and down heating up her hot pack, getting meds, crying in my bed, throwing up in the toilet, etc. Neither of us got more an two hours of sleep the whole night. I took her to Urgent Care this morning and the doctor there said both ear canals are extremely swollen. He prescribed amoxicillin and said to continue with the ear drops. He also prescribed anti nausea medicine since she had thrown up five times already that morning. Poor girl was throwing up in the Urgent Care bathroom. :(

We went to CVS for the prescriptions, another hot pack, and some Saltines. Then I left her home with Lex for the afternoon while I went into work. She took all the meds (appropriate doses, of course!) and said she had a pretty ok afternoon. When I got home we both fell asleep on the couch for awhile. She just woke up again in major pain. She’s sitting on the couch with hot packs on both ears and tears in her eyes. This post as taken awhile as I go back and forth between her and the computer. Fortunately, so far, she’s no longer feeling nauseous. That makes a big difference! Hopefully the rest of the meds kick in soon and reduce the swelling. The doctors said they don’t know what’s causing the swelling, but the first step is to get it down enough that she’s comfortable and they can see her eardrums. Hopefully that happens quickly!

Oh Christmas Tree

Posted on December 9, 2023 by Tessa

Today was a pretty perfect, festive, holi-day. Alan came down to visit and we went to get the Christmas tree. Lex is still at school and River was at an event, so it was just me, Eve, and Alan this year. We found the perfect tree in a matter of minutes! I’m not sure if we got really lucky, or if just few voices make for faster decisions, or what. But whatever it was, the tree is lovely and we were efficient.

Small group this year, but having fun nonetheless!

When we got home we turned on a livestream of the WPI basketball game Lex was performing at. Lex was on snare drum and easy to spot in the crowd. The basketball game was a good one (WPI won!) and went quickly, like most basketball games do. After the halftime show, which is just the band playing, no marching, we brought the tree in and set it up.

Three videos in a playlist. Hit play once and let it run through all three.

Eve and River went off to play DnD with their friends, Alan headed home, and I went to have dinner with a good friend. It was her birthday yesterday so we got carrot cake for dessert. Yum!

When the kids got home, Eve and I put up the star and the Christmas lights. We also each put up one ornament. We decided to do the rest tomorrow. There is a storm warning for tomorrow, so it will be the perfect day to cozy up at home and decorate the Christmas tree. I’m excited for it already.

Eve’s favorite birds. They always have a special place on the tree.

Next weekend Lex will come home and my house will be full again. <3

Happy Halloween, Eve has returned!

Posted on October 31, 2023 by Tessa

Eve had a great flight home. She left Gothenburg at 6am Sunday morning and arrived in Boston at 3pm. She had an easy layover at Charles de Gaulle in Paris, and arrived 20 minutes early at Logan.

Alan and I drove down to pick her up, then swung over to Worcester to pick up Lex so we could all go out to dinner at the classy Olive Garden. :)

Things got a little silly when we dropped Lex back off at school.

Today I took Eve to my library to see all the Halloween decorations. Our office manager is SUPER into Halloween and decorates a ton. Almost every day when I go into work I see new decorations added. I was told yesterday afternoon that EVERYONE dresses up at the library and that the office manager is strict on that. So I did my usual black outfit and witches hat. Eve dressed up in whatever she found in her closet. We visited the library, walked around town a bit, then I drove her home and returned to work. Guess what?! The office manager is out this week and hardly anyone dressed up! Just a few of us. Sigh. Next year though, I’m gonna plan ahead and have a good costume. And be 20 years younger and 100lbs lighter and full of energy and creativity. LOL.

While I worked, Eve had a burst of energy and made cookies, bread, dog biscuits, pasta, homemade cheese sauce, and handed out Halloween candy to the handful of kids who made it to our house.

Eve is happy to be home and has been talking nonstop since Sunday. LOL. She’s been on a pretty high high. She’ll start school again next Monday and hopefully the low lows don’t come too quickly. In the meantime, I’ll enjoy the highs and the hugs and the nonstop verbal monologue!

She’s coming home!

Posted on October 26, 2023 by Tessa

In a big turn of events, this beautiful human is heading home!!

On Tuesday I got an email from her Rotary coordinator in Sweden. He said they were having a meeting on Wednesday and asked that we be present for it. Alan and I logged in to the meeting Wednesday morning to meet with Eve, her host dad, her youth exchange coordinator, and a higher up in Swedish Rotary.

The goal was to talk with Eve about what’s going on and address issues they each were having with the exchange. Eve was unhappy with lots of things, her host family was unhappy with her eating habits (apparently they had dealt with anorexia in the past and were feeling triggered), and her Rotary folks were unhappy with her lack of participation in Rotary activates. We had a good conversation, resulting in Eve saying she really just wants to go home and the Swedish folks saying they don’t think the program is working in this situation. So it was decided — she’s coming home!

There were a lot of emotions at the meeting, and afterwards (in my case, anyway, I can’t speak for everyone else), but ultimately I think the right decision was made. Eve was not able or willing to make the changes necessary for the program to be successful; her host family was kind, but missing the siblings and connectedness to draw her out; she spent a lot of time alone; she was exhausted from her school-related internship; and everyone was worried about her eating habits. I guess I can take some of the blame for that one. :/

Eve spent the end of elementary school and all of middle school completely miserable. She hated her friend group and everything about school. Of course, Covid didn’t help… though in her opinion it totally helped because it allowed her to stay home and ignore the real world! We started the Rotary Exchange program in that mindset. In high school things slowly turned around, with last year being an awesome year in school. She had a new (old, better) friend group and enjoyed her classes – mostly. She was interested in traveling, but less interesting in escaping from high school. Now, in Sweden, she is miserable again. It has been hard to support her from afar in a situation so reminiscent of the past. I tried balancing support and distance, encouragement and hands-off, etc. Regardless, it didn’t seem to matter.

Once the decision was made, the tears were released, and goodbyes were said – the planning began! She is thrilled to be coming home. I am, of course, thrilled to have her back! I spent today coordinating Rotary approvals, flight arrangements, school re-enrollment, holiday travel plan changes, etc. All totally worth it so I can hug my favorite baby girl a million times on Sunday!! 🤗

Her Rotary coordinator her in the US sent her a very nice email today. He said:

“It will be natural to second-guess some things for a while. Decisions to go on exchange, decisions to stay or not stay; all very normal and expected when a decision like this is made. If these things cross your mind, please remember that success can almost never be measured with a calendar. If you have grown, learned new things and met new people, the exchange is a success and much more importantly, you are a success. The end date doesn’t matter as much. We look forward to welcoming you back and hearing about your time in Sweden.”

I thought that was very kind and I appreciate their support. I’ll be sure to tell them. 😊

All the feels

Posted on October 21, 2023 by Tessa

We had a busy week. Lex was home between A Term and B Term. He successfully finished his first quarter of college! He ended it with two A’s and a B. The B was in Calc III, a class that the FB Parents groups says is the most “NRed” class at WPI. “NR” means “not recorded” and is an option if your grade is too low and you don’t want it to count. I’m not sure if the credit counts or not, but Lex was pretty pleased with his B in that class.

He came home last Friday night and, at the urging of high school pep band friends, he went to the homecoming football game and played with the pep band. River went to pep band that night too and they all had a great time!

On Sunday we had our usual family chat with Eve, but this time all of us were in one place, sharing one screen, EXCEPT Eve who was on the other side of the ocean. It quickly devolved into tears. I’m not sure if it’s because we were together or not, but she was pretty miserable. She’s had a cold for awhile and medicine is weirdly limited there. They don’t have the standard go-tos, like DayQuil and Sudafed. She said even Tylenol requires a prescription. So weird. Her host family tells her she needs to eat more healthy (true) and bought her some decongestant that takes 6-12hrs to kick in. Weird. As I’m typing this I realize I should research why Sweden is so anti-OTC meds. I don’t remember that from almost 30 years ago! Super weird!! 😮 So she cried through that whole conversations. Everything is awful, everyone is terrible, she hates it all, and misses everything at home. Sigh.

Lex came to visit me at the library on Monday. I gave him a tour of the library that he hasn’t seen since he was four years old. No surprise, he didn’t remember the place! :) I got to show him off to my co-workers, then we got pizza at the pizza place next door and enjoyed each other’s company.

The week went on. My job is so low-key that I am quite often bored with *nothing* to do. I have cleared up both of my email inboxes. I went from 2K+ in my personal account and 8k+ in my school account (still active because I’m still doing the website work) down to 15 and 2 respectively. I didn’t read all the emails (of course!) but I scanned the subject lines and initial text as I deleted them. When I got to the March 2020 emails in my school account I noticed my heart rate increased and my breathing got shallower and faster. I literally had to close my email and step away from my computer for awhile. I didn’t come go back to the email until the next day. It was such a strange experience as all the memories from the school closure came flooding back.

On Thursday the boys had some friends over. Simon, Jonah, and Liv. They hung out, watched YouTube, laughed, ate, etc. All the things teens do and they were all happy to have Lex back for a few days. Part way through the evening I got a text from Eve saying it was hard to be away when all of her friends are hanging out at her house. True, of course, but I was surprised she knew. She said they were posting quotes and picture on Discord. I had to politely ask my house full of teens to stop posting on Discord for the evening. Eve and I continued to have a long, downer conversation via text, while I simultaneously texted with Joyce about her exchange student experience. Eve hasn’t directly asked to come home, but she was hinting at it pretty strongly. Sigh.

Eve texted me later that night and said her bestie, Simon, had sent her a bunch of love via text and memes. 💗

Follow-up conversations with family and friends have shown me that Eve is pretty positive when texting with everyone else. She’s saving the tears for me. Good, I guess.

Last night we (me and the boys) joined Rosy and two of friends at a local pub for dinner. The service was slow and the music was loud (but good!), and we all had fun.

We had another family chat today (since I’ll be busy tomorrow) and it was once again all of us here and Eve there. I tried having us all join from our own devices around the house, but apparently my broadband can’t support three independent video conference streams very well, so the conversation was choppy. We ended up consolidating on the couch with my computer. Eve said she isn’t bothered by our being together, but she definitely got more emotional after we gathered on one computer. We had a good chat though and I managed to end it on a high note with everyone happy and smiling. :)

Lex decided to go back to WPI today instead of tomorrow so that he has a day to settle in. So weird that WPI is now “home” and he needs that day to settle in there instead of here. It makes sense, but still weird. He packed this morning, after our chat with Eve, and we once again played the “waiting for the dryer” game. A perennial favorite (ha!) in this house. By the time the laundry *finally* got done, Lex was overcome with a wave of emotion. He was tired today and doesn’t generally do well with transition, but when it was time to get in the car he started crying and worrying and all the emotion came out. Way more then when we dropped him off in August! He said he was too tired, he didn’t want to back to dining hall food, packing was too hard, etc. We talked about how hard it is for vacation to end and the stressors of getting back to the “real world.” It’s so surreal to me that the “real world” is no longer here with me. Alan picked him up last week and brought him back to WPI today. It gave them some good quality time. Alan texted me hours later saying he just dropped off a happy boy at college. Whew! I sat down on the couch to read and promptly fell asleep for an hour. I think I was emotionally drained.

Rosy and her friends are in town for a lovely New England weekend. Unfortunately the universe said NO, and it has been raining the entire time. They spent the day exploring in the rain, then went back to their Airbnb for the evening. I was going to join them, but when I woke up from my nap I could not motivate myself. We will be spending all day tomorrow at King Arthur Flour doing a cake baking/decorating class, and then my book group will come over tomorrow afternoon to meet Rosy’s friends and help us eat four cakes! This afternoon I spent a weird amount of time sitting at my table, unable to get up and go hang out with her and friends, thinking about my messy house, thinking about socializing, thinking about kids, etc. I was just stuck. So I did the lame thing and bailed on socializing. (Sorry, Rosy!) Then I hand washed some dishes, folded the laundry, and swept the floor (my roomba is broken and the floor was long overdue!). Then decided to write a blog post. :) Above the laptop screen right now I see my couches that need vacuuming tonight (stupid pets) and a pile of TLC goodies for Eve that I need to ship as soon as I can find a box for them. I think I’m going to vacuum the couches, watch some TV, and crash.

I’m excited for cake baking tomorrow, and spending time with Rosy, her friends, and my book group. Then settling back into my new life on Monday with just me and River in the house. Plus the always needy pets, of course! :)

The teacher in my is dying to ask: How many emotions did you see in that text? The title said “all” of the emotions; did you see “all” of the emotions there? What other emotions can you think of?

The sane person in me says: Tessa, get a hobby! LOL.

Lex and Eve, then and now

Posted on August 22, 2023 by Tessa

I talked the kids into a quick photo before they both left. It wasn’t hard to convince them. They are so good to me. 💗

It reminded me of a photo from a long time ago.

I paid a little more for the second one, but I love them both so much. The kids and the photos! Thirteen-ish years later and they still love each other. I’m a lucky momma and enterally grateful for them both. I hope they continue to love and support each other forever. 💕

Calm and Chaos: Life with kids

Tag Archives: Eve