As a parent you find yourself saying some pretty strange things. Things that, pre-kids, you would never have imagined yourself saying. Here are just a few memorable ones from our trip down parenting lane.

“Don’t put your toe in my ear!”

“Part of being a person, and having hair, is that you have to wash it sometimes.”

“We’re not going to pay for something on the Internet with your big bucket of money!”

“Don’t punch your pizza!”

“We don’t eat on the potty.” and later that same day, “We don’t eat and exercise at the same time.”

“Maybe there’s a reason dump trucks don’t fly.”

“Don’t put cheese between your toes!”

“No! Yuck! Stop, stop, stop!” (as he starts licking his very dirty big toe with a very cream cheesy tongue)

“Do you want to get out of the tub or do you want to keep your head out of the drain?”

“Please stop licking the windows.”

“Ok, time to stop hugging your friend.”

“Please stop rubbing the pickle all over your face.”

“Biscuits don’t go in your ears.”