I left the big city and headed to the country for a few days of caretaking and R&R. Good conversations, beautiful views, fresh air, sunshine, and some serious slothing.
A few days in the country
1
Hofstra Family Weekend
I spent a few days with Miss E at Hofstra’s Family Weekend. We had lots of fun. Hofstra has such a beautiful campus, and fun mascots.
Hofstra has an Arboretum on campus with fun, unique trees and plants. They also have tons of statues on campus! I enjoyed exploring and seeing E’s favorite trees and statutes. <3
For all the lovely trees and greenery, Hofstra is actually in the suburbs, which also makes for some interesting photos.
Drought
We are in the middle of a drought. An extreme drought. Apparently it’s the driest August on record since 1895. It’s crazy because the rivers are soooo low, and some towns have water usage restrictions, but other towns do not. I learned it all depends on where towns get their water from. Apparently its different for each town. It’s also interesting crossing the bridge by Dartmouth each day and seeing the river nice and full (upstream of the dam) and ready for their crew teams.
When E was home a few weeks ago we took some pictures by the rivers (downstream from the dam!)
In the top photos you can see the footing (base? pylons? footers?) under the bridge, and river bed bottom. The bottom pictures are my sweetie doing her photography class homework. :)
Climate change sucks.
Gone, but not too far
There’s definitely not a lot of lonely time around here, despite the empty house. Last weekend Alan and I went down to WPI to watch Lex’s band performance. Joyce met us there. The game was awful, the sun was HOT, but the band was great! We had fun. Then we took Lex out to dinner at the Olive Garden, where he ate new food! LOL.
The next day Mema and G’Tom came to visit for a few days. We saw an AMAZING musical at Northern Stage, had brunch in a tasty diner, checked out the (very dry) gorge, and have a lovely time together.
A few days later, E came home for the weekend!! She flew into Burlington and Alan picked her up. She wanted a fall-fun weekend, so we’ve been watching Halloween movies, apple picking, pumpkin carving, and baking tasty goods.
Eve’s taking a photography course at school and she brought home a DSLR camera for the weekend. Her assignment is “lighting” so she’s been grabbing the camera for random shots. Of course, I had to take pictures of her taking pictures. I couldn’t resist. :) She’s heading back to school on Tuesday, and the boys are coming home on Friday! Whew! Who knew it would be so busy in my empty nest. LOL.
Observations from my first weekend alone
- Nothing moves. Not the stuff on the table or the counter. Not the dirty dishes. I can put stuff down and it stays there until I do something else with it.
- No one is here to walk the dog or feed the cat.
- Cat litter stinks (tbh, that’s no surprise!)
- No one is going to eat the stuff in the pantry or the fridge. I have to eat it or toss it.
- All the clothes in the laundry are mine.
- At the end of the evening, when my brain starts wondering who is where and when everyone is getting home — I have to remind myself that no one is coming home. Not tonight, anyway.
- I can have lunch and brunch and tea and visits with friends all I want, without having to coordinate schedules with anyone else (tbh, that was mostly the case when the teens were home too.)
- However, after being out for hours, I do have to remember that no one is home to walk the dog or feed the cat.
- This post sounded much more clever in my head.
- I am not at all alone.
1 – 2 – 3 — off they go!
Dropped Lex off a few weeks ago. Dropped River off last weekend. Dropped Espen off yesterday! One, two, three!
River and I had a nice drive out to RIT last weekend. He’s living in the same dorm again this year, with the same roommate. Move-in was smooth and way less chaotic than his freshman year move in. We went out to dinner, then I left him at his dorm. He had some mixed feelings for the year, but was making plans with friends for the weekend and feeling ok.
I spent the night at Rosy’s house, then had a lovely lunch the next day with the family before heading back home.
This week we brought Espen to Hofstra for her freshman year. Alan came down Wednesday morning and we packed up three cars — two to go all the way to Hofstra and one to go midway, just to WPI.
We met up with Lex and had an early dinner. It was nice to connect with him after a few weeks of school. Things are going pretty well and he seems happy. E, on the other hand, was quiet and withdrawn. Clearly the nerves were creeping in.
We said our goodbyes to Lex, then kept heading south. E slept for a bit in the car, but when she woke up we had a really nice chat about college. Same stuff we’ve talked about before, but she seemed receptive to it this time. We got in to the hotel pretty late, but ordered some food and snuggled (as best we could) on the hotel couch to watch some tv.
She didn’t end up sleeping well that night and wasn’t able to wake up early to draw, as she had been hoping to do. We met Alan at a diner for breakfast and E was once again quiet and withdrawn, barely touching her amazing waffle! (Don’t worry, Alan and I took care of it. LOL) On the short drive from there to campus she expressed frustration at not having had a chance to draw in the morning and worried that it would be “forever” until she had a chance to draw again. I told her she had to let it go and move on if she had any hope of having a good day. Meanwhile, I mentally braced myself for a “crash out” or anxiety attack. I was dreading how we would get her moved into her new dorm in that condition.
However, when we turned the corner and drove onto campus we were met with upper grade students in yellow t-shirts jumping up and down, holding signs saying “Welcome Home!”, cheering, shouting, celebrating the incoming students. A smile appeared on her face. We saw Kate and Willie (the mascots) in the group. She laughed. By the time we parked the car, she was grinning and chatty again. When we got out and crossed the street, I asked if we could take a picture with the mascots and she said, “Sure!” So we did.
She was chatty with all the people at the check-in tables. One lady who works there was excited to see her, even said she had been waiting to see King Gerald back on campus! Eve wasn’t even carrying KG at that point, so the lady just recognized E without the shark. :)
When her move- in time came, we drove over to the dorm. Everyone was so nice and so organized. The athletes (all those kids in yellow shirts) were tasked with helping kids unload and move in, so the process went quickly. Espen met her RAs, got her room key, and we got her moved in. She has a suite with two 2-person rooms, a common area, and a shared bath. Her roommate is artsy and quirky. The roommate’s mom actually works at Hofstra! We didn’t chat much with the two girls in the other room, but E had been chatting with them on social media beforehand and was comfortable with them.
After she was mostly unpacked, we took a walk over to the student center to get a car magnet for Alan. We had a little extra time before E’s first “required activity”, so we stopped by the library. She had been hoping to get a job there, but nothing was posted. She emailed the dean a few weeks ago, but (I think) got only a fairly generic response. This time the person at the desk sent us up to the dean’s office to sign up for a work-study position. Apparently they maintain a list of interested people, then once all the kids are back on campus they give first dibs to kids who worked there last year, and then anything left goes to new kids. E filled out the interest form, then the dean actually came out of her office and started talking with us. She brought out the assistant dean too. They were talking about an new AI archiving project they are starting and looking for students with a little tech confidence. Espen apparently knocked their socks off! The dean made a little note by her name, and today E got an email asking if she wanted to stop by on Tuesday to complete new-hire paperwork and get started working! She’s thrilled!
E had a mandatory meeting at 3pm, so we said our goodbyes in the parking lot shortly before that. I was holding my breath all day, waiting for the emotional break down, but it never came! She gave us both big hugs and went off to meet her Welcome Week leader. No tears. No lingering delays. No doubts or hesitations. Just hugs and off she went! I held it together until she walked away, then I cried on Alan’s chest for a few minutes. Not because she was leaving, but because I spent the day emotionally ready to catch her, but she never needed it. She rocked her day!
It was a long drive home, and I peeked at my phone each time she texted me. Still waiting for the break down. Not sure if that says more about me or about her. LOL. However, all of her texts were cheery and positive. She meet her Welcome Week leader, went to the University President’s welcome thing, did some other stuff I don’t even know, They had a late night breakfast that she went to. She spent the afternoon with her roommate. She carried King Gerald around and handed out loads of pins. She even said, “Also gerald might have gotten me a dnd group.” She had fun. Life is good.
I got home late and went to bed even later, but my heart was happy! I posted a thank you message on the Hofstra FB page and by this morning had over 100 “likes” and a ton of comments, all agreeing with my comments about how welcoming and energetic the campus was on move in day. I think that positive energy made all the difference in her day!
I got texts from her today, throughout the day. She did some stuff, heard back from the library, went shopping with her suitemates (her roomie has a car!), and went to a late night trivia event at the library! The texts so far have all been positive. She even signed up for their “Explore Next Door” program and will be going to NYC tomorrow to visit the science museum!
I know this honeymoon phase won’t last forever, and struggles will come eventually, but for now I am overjoyed and immensely relieved that her first few days in college have been positive. She has roommates that are artsy and quirky and accepting. She has a job she’s excited about. She has classes she’s excited about. She likes her room setup and says “the vibes are peak.”
As I adjust to my own new life in this empty nest, I am at peace knowing that all three kids are happy at their colleges, making friends, getting involved, and growing into amazing adults. Now if I could just train Huxley to not bark out the window! LOL.
Baby’s first apartment
We moved Lex into his first ever apartment this weekend. He’s living off-campus this year, with two of the guys from his campus apartment last year. They seem like a good group. One of his roommates who lives an hour away was there as well, with his family for a bit, unpacking and moving in. We had a nice chat. The boys have a nice apartment a few blocks from school. Second floor, three bedroom, classic old house with wood paneling, gypsum lath and plaster walls, and high ceilings. Lex has the smallest of the three rooms, but he seems fine with it. We bought him a new dresser, desk, mattress (he has a hand-me-down bedframe from a roommate who upgraded to a bigger bed), and window AC. The tenant before him left a pile of Christmas lights on the floor, so E and I put them up around the window for a little whimsy.
Alan and Lex went out to buy an AC and some groceries while E and I finished building the furniture and unpacking his bags. We ordered pizza for dinner and finally said goodbye around 10pm.
I almost forgot to take a family photo! Fortunately I remembered, just as we were saying our goodbyes. I was sad to leave my baby, alone at night in that apartment by himself, but he was ready to settle in and start making it a home for the next year or two.
The next day he had his drumline audition. He’ll be playing Bass 2 again this year. He was hoping for snare, but he said bass is fun too and he’s just happy to be back on the field with his band friends. <3
Trying to stay positive…
I’m going to try to write a post that I feel strongly, but also have no words for — just feels. The world feels like it’s falling apart and I’m just over here, moments away from sending my little ducklings out into it.
These last few days we’ve had air quality alerts. Something I’ve never experienced before until (I think) this summer. Canada is on fire, the air is hazy, the sky is flat, and we all have irritated noses, throats, and (in E’s case) headaches. According to the local news (WCAX), “Today’s air quality is the 5th worst air quality we’ve seen due to wildfire smoke ever and the 2nd worst air quality we’ve seen from wildfire smoke this year.” We are VERY grateful for our new house and all it’s air filters!
The sun was so red last night that it was casting a red light on my bedroom wall! I took a short walk to get a better picture of it, but this is the best I could get.
Several months ago (maybe last summer, even) I started reading a book called The Ministry for the Future, by Kim Stanley Robinson. It’s a tome of a book with a really interesting premise around climate fiction, but the first chapter starts with a detailed description of a heat wave in India. The story is fiction and futuristic – but barely. The chapter stuck with me and now as the real world gets hotter I keep picturing that heat wave description. I don’t think it will be fiction for much longer. :(
Also, you may have heard, the government is in chaos and democracy is crumbling. Public media is over. Schools and libraries are losing funding. (Our own schools are full of toxic chemicals that no one wants to pay to clean up.) Human rights laws are being rolled back to the 1950s and earlier. Colleges are rolling over to the dictators bullying. Businesses are caving. People are disappearing and dying. Every day citizens are protesting, but it hardly seems impactful.
I donated some money to an aid group (I don’t even remember which one at the moment), and now my social media feed is full of starving children in Gaza. I know that through the years there have been starving people in Syria and Ethiopia and other places, but this one is so easy to fix, if everything else wasn’t falling apart as well. I guess the world has been in a falling apart state in the past, but it’s definitely the worst it’s been in my lifetime. The hatred and disrespect are out of control.
Meanwhile I’m doing my little job and taking my kids to their appointments and trying to decide which businesses are ok to support while I prepare three kids for college. Trying to stay positive. Encouraging them to make plans for their futures. Silently hoping that the Department of Education doesn’t dissolve, student loans don’t disappear, and their chosen colleges don’t decide to cave to the dictator (or maybe they already quietly have, I haven’t checked).
I know that those of you who are older than me have probably seen some stuff and have maybe lived through more ups and downs in this world, but in my eyes, this is the worst… and it’s getting worse by the day. What is the end game here? Where are we heading?
I just finished reading Worthy Brown’s Daughter, by Philip Margolin for my book group. It takes place in the 1860’s and is loosely based on a true story. Towards the end of the story a white woman is talking to a black girl and tells her that a civil war is happening and things will be different when the war is over. The book had nothing to do with the war. It reminded me of a quote (that I’ll butcher here) along the lines of, “None of the dystopian books I read prepared me for the fact that while civilization is crumbling, I’ll still have to go to work.” I guess that’s how I’m feeling these days. The world is on fire, our country is crumbling, but I still have to go manage my library budget and make sure my kids have twin XL sheets for college. Weird.
This isn’t a cry for help or anything. I probably just need to take a social media break, and a walk… when the air quality improves.
PDW (post dog walk): The moon is super red tonight and we have an air quality warning in effect for tomorrow as well. The expression “rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic” frequently comes to mind.
Hofstra bound!
We spent last week in lovely Long Island for Espen’s college orientation. Student orientation was Tuesday-Thursday, with a parent orientation on Tuesday morning. We drove down Monday night and met Alan at the hotel. The next morning we dropped E off at her dorm for the week. It was a rough start. They didn’t let parents into the building (which was known from the start) but she couldn’t carry all her stuff, so they sent her in to check in while I waited outside with her stuff. I stood there in the hot sun, watching people come and go, waiting for Espen to come back. Meanwhile some other mother walked right in and another asked about bathrooms and was sent inside. I was super annoyed. After like 15 minutes Alan got there and I had to explain it all to him. I asked one of the orientation leaders to go check on her. She came out a few minutes later, on the verge of a panic attack. Said she didn’t know where to go. Didn’t know how to carry everything. I gave her big hugs, piled her stuff on her, and sent her back in. Tears were shed. Alan and I headed to the parent orientation. Awhile later she texted and said she figured out where to go. A bit after that “Gerald” posted a pretty positive post on Instagram. I sighed a huge sigh of relief.
I spent the afternoon exploring a GIANT mall. Biggest one I’ve seen in a long time. It was expensive and exhausting. LOL. I spent the next day working at the hotel. I ended up with a two-room suite, which worked out well for the whole “work from home” thing. I had a desk and plenty of room in the fridge for snacks and beverages. Then I spent a few hours exploring IKEA :)
Thursday I picked up E around lunch time. We took a quick trip to the campus bookstore, then headed back to the IKEA! LOL. We got lunch there and bought some fun little things for the house and dorms. We had a long, whimsical drive home.
I love spending time with my girlie. She’s the best. <3 I’m gonna miss her next year.
A weekend in Maine
Lex is doing his IQP at Acadia National Park. He’s spending the summer living in a dorm at College of the Atlantic and doing a research project (with his group, not on his own) about the effectiveness of using QR codes for participant surveys.
Rosy, Eve, and I went up to visit him over the 4th of July weekend. We rented a cute little house on the “quiet side” of the island (Mt. Desert Island). We visited the National Park, drove up to the top of Cadillac Mountain, visited Thunder Hole twice, walked over the Bar Island, took a ghost tour of Bar Harbor, and watched fireworks over the water in South Harbor.
It was so beautiful and we took so many photos! I was going to share a link here to the photo album, but Rosy set it up and link sharing is disabled, so you’ll just have to imagine the beauty. :) Or Google it. We’re not the first people to take pictures of this beautiful place.
Eve and I had a fun drive home too. We stopped at a plant store and an antique mall kind of place and a diner for lunch. I was feeling like Grandma on the drive home. LOL. Stopping for all the whimsey we could.