“You know those toast hats?…” – Eve, 7/21/18

Eve, opens the door and yells from the office:  “MOM, how do you spell witches?”
Me: “What does it start with?”
Eve, closes door: “Echo, how do you spell witches?” – 7/16/18

“Mom, puberty is doing weird things to my body.” She then raised her foot up behind her and I looked, expecting to see bumps and blisters, but instead I saw a big googly eye! Stuck to the bottom of her toe! – 12/17/17

Me: “Lex, what did you think of the movie?” (they had just watched Pee Wee’s Big Adventure)
Lex: “It was really weird… but I just kept watching it.”
Me: “Yep, that about sumps up Pee Wee Herman!” – 12/31/16

“Orion has a sombrero on tonight!” said Eve, returning from an evening dog walk. 12/20/16

“I saw you in the library reading to the kids and you were ADORABLE!” said Eve to me on my first day of teaching. 8/3016

“I just realized I have my pants on backwards!” said Lex, at 6:19pm. 8/29/16

Watching a very oiled up guy on an Olympics bloopers YouTube video…
“He looks like a Barbie, only a boy Barbie” says Eve. Alan says, “A Ken doll” and Eve replies with, “A Kindle? No, a boy Barbie.” – Eve, 8/23/16

“I had a growth spurt once during recess in the winter.  Sarah and I were having one at the same time and we kept falling over on our faces.” said Eve, mid summer 2016.

“Mom, I made Eve an apology penguin!” said Lex, after having a fight with Eve. 6/6/16

“Thank you for this care,” said Lex, while sick in bed. I tended to him as a mother does and he melted my heart. 4/28/16

“I always like to argue with the rules of math,” said Eve, while discussing division with Lex. 2/18/16

Lex: “I just realized, the bluetooth portal has binary running through it! Yeah, zeros and ones!”
Eve: “Really? Too bad the glitchy couch doesn’t.”
Lex: “Yeah.”
A conversation overheard while they were playing AnimalJam one day. 10/2/15

“I’m only going because you threatened to threaten me!” said a very grumpy Lex. 9/28/15

“I think I’m going to like 5th grade,” Lex says to me. I asked why and he replied, “Well, I like school supplies and 5th grade needs a lot of school supplies.” – 07/14/15

“I like brightness.  It’s very good for my fallopian tubes,” said Eve this evening at bedtime.  07/14/15

“Eve, I don’t know what I’d do without you.  You’re not only a great sister, you’re a great person to have around.” said Lex to Eve. 11/9/14

“I think I just invented a gravity controlled water bomb!” said Lex. 5/19/15

“At the moment I’m narrating a conversation in my head between Google map software and a Google satellite,” Lex told me at bedtime one night.  6/30/15

Me: “Eve, why are you holding the bowl in your arms?”
Eve: “I’m doing it the old fashioned way, like before they had counters.” – 7/3/15

“I can’t get a wink of sleep,” Eve said to me, while practically sound asleep. 12/19/14

Lex: “I think you should send her a thank you note.”
Eve: “I already sent her dinosaurs!” – 10/1/14

“I’ll get revenge on you someday!” yelled Eve to Lex, after he apparently unmade her bed and failed to remake it properly. Moments later they were laughing together again. 9/12/14

“Well, I guess you could say I’m an amateur car expert.” said Lex, while arguing with Eve about a car logo. 8/12/14

“All they want is money! That’s all they care about! That’s why I want to buy things from them.” said Eve, while looking through an American Girls catalog. 3/3/14

“I want to be a famous artist so I can make a lot of money and buy lots of cats!” said Eve. Moments later she amended it to “pets” because she wants dogs, bunnies, and hamsters too. 3/2/14

“I’d like to take a moment to give credit to mom for this idea,” said Lex at family meeting today. 11/23/13

“There’s an elephant and a giraffe quarrelling in there,” said Eve after letting out a very noticeable fart. 7/15/13

“I snuck a cheese stick into the shower,” said Eve. 7/14/13

“There are google fur holes on this peach!” said Eve. 6/11/13

“Now in case I get bored I’ll be all prepared,” said Lex, walking into the room with two mini “carabiner” games attached to his belt loop. 4/6/13

“Anything can happen when you’re inside a Lego head,” said Lex while his real head bounced around inside a giant Lego head. 10/28/12

“Whew! I can walk pretty fast with eight pounds of pumpkin in my arms!” said Lex at the apple orchard. 9/23/12

“I hope there’s not going to be any learning on the first day of school,” said Eve the day before starting kindergarten. 8/27/12

“I don’t think someone could sue me because I have lots of dollars and a spinny wheel,” said Eve while playing Life. 8/11/12

“Geez! Don’t you know your construction vehicles?!” said Lex to his friend, when his friend asked what is a digger. 5/9/12

“I’ll do all the thinking and planning and you can find me the pieces. That will save you a little brain energy,” said Lex to his friend. 5/9/12

“I think it looks just perfect, for your age,” said Eve, referring to my big yellow raincoat. 5/7/12

“Aww… I love these flowers. [pause] I want to hug the cow poop,” said Eve, while planting freesia blubs in cow manure. 5/6/12

“Ok Mom, let’s be quiet now so I can nurse my little baby whale,” said Eve. 4/11/12

“You didn’t say it five hundred years ago because you weren’t born five hundred years ago, and mom was just a kid!” said Lex. 2/13/12

“‘Love’ means ‘I love you.’ I’m describing you with love,” said Eve, when asked for an adjective in Mad Libs. 12/29/11

“After I get done with this plaid picture I’m going to make a British flag,” said Lex, as he and Eve sat drawing picture after picture. 11/14/11

“Is this a democracy or a dad-ocracy?!” said Alan. 11/12/11

“When we went in the earth pool… I mean the world pool…” said Eve, telling a story about when we went in the whirlpool at the hotel. 11/1/11

“Oh what a GREAT place to be a photographer!” said Lex, pointing his camera at an elephant in the lobby of the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History. 9/23/11

“I want to pour this sauce on my head,” said Eve, pulling a bottle of chocolate syrup from the fridge and pretending to pour. 8/6/11

“Summer is my favorite time of year because there are so many construction trucks, and trucks are my second favorite vehicles!” said Lex while we drove through everlasting road construction. 8/2/11

“First a bump, then a line, then a kick!” said Eve, telling herself how to write an R. 8/2/11

“I’m a ballerina, you’re a ballerman,” said Eve to Lex. 7/14/11

“Phones really are amazing things. You can talk to people more than a mile away!” said Lex. 6/6/11

“I like all my art to look beautiful,” said Lex while working on a take-home art project. 4/13/11

“That dude has a lot of falafels!” said Lex, 4/1/11

“I still feel hungry,” I sang, wandering around the kitchen, opening cabinets, “What should I eat?”
“Nothing, because your belly will hurt,” Eve sang back.
She takes good care of me. – 3/28/11

“Her strong daddy muscles put her in there,” said Eve to me, explaining how her “baby” (doggy) got “in her belly” (under her shirt). 1/14/11

“Let’s play hop scotch.  If there’s one, you hop.  If there’s two, you scotch.” said Eve, as we walked down a stone walkway.  1/3/11

“I want to be a toy when I grow up. And have a pumpkin head. And you can make me into a shoe.” said Eve. 12/3/10

“You know what is warmer than the shower? Your hugs.” said Lex. 10/28/10

“I wish the toilet was in the kitchen,” said Lex, moments after I told him he could not bring his snack to the bathroom with him. 10/16/10

“The reading skills are just flying into Eve!” – Lex 10/3/10

“Piñatas are my favorite part of life,” – Lex, while discussing yesterday’s party. 10/3/10

“Vanna is an awesome girl because she knows all her letters!” said Eve as she watched Wheel of Fortune with us. 9/3/10

“It’s a good thing I saved a lot of money in my piggy bank so I can help him buy a new car,” said Lex when he heard that Alan needed to replace the Saturn. 9/2/10

Eve: “Goodbye Goober”
Cousin Dan: “Goodbye Teapot”
He called her teapot because she wanted to be called teapot. Why? Who knows why when Eve is involved. 7/8/10

“I think I hear the noise of pumping pistons!” said Lex as we walked near a railroad track. 7/20/10

Eve: “How can you eat food when you’re sick?”
Lex: “The usual way, Eve.”

“See that pile of brown over there? That’s my mom!” says Eve. 7/3/10

“Mom, guess what?! I’m going to try a new shirt tomorrow. It’s just like my black shirt only it’s brown,” says Lex. 6/12/10

“When I get older I’m going to do gross things and you should say ‘oh girls!'” says Eve. 6/7/10

“These three things all have this and that and the other thing,” said Eve, trying to tell me that the three snack bags all have twist-ties. 4/29/10

“Why is nobody eating him?” said Eve, referring to the turkey we were watching cross the road. 4/26/10

“Let me slobber on your belly,” said Eve to me during a family belly zerbert fest :) We were teaching the kids. 4/17/10

“Let’s lick each other all over,” said Lex in the tub while they were pretending to be cats. 3/30/10

“I call my grandpa Quackfreid!” said Eve in the car, cracking us all up! 3/13/10

“Nobody can ever throw up in offices! So be careful with your lungs,” said Eve. 2/21/10

“Mommy, you are my very best friend,” says Eve, often. 2/10

“Whoa! Doggie DID NOT like that loud noise!” said Lex, moments after our car got bumped on a snowy night. 2/16/10

“Look Eve, the country!” said Lex as we drove through upstate NY. 2/13/10

“Mommy, you are my best friend,” said Eve. 1/27/10

Lex: “When were dinosaurs alive?”
Tessa: “Millions of years ago.”
Lex: pause… “You mean in 2001?”

“Don’t unbutton my belly!” said Eve, covering her belly button.  12/29/09

Tessa: “Maybe we could pick up Panera Bread for dinner.”
Eve: “Panera Bread!? Panera Bread’s house is too heavy for my hands!” she says, holding her hands up as if she were supporting something very heavy. 10/03/09

“There’s teeny tiny little poop rocks in my potty!” said Eve, peering into her potty. 9/9/09

“Ouch!  My pants fell into my poop hole!,” said Lex.  8/31/09

“Look at me when I’m building you, coffee pot,” said Eve, while building a “coffee pot” out of building blocks. 8/28/09

“I hurt my two-head,” said Eve, pointing to a big red bump on her forehead.  8/22/09

“DO OP NOPEN!” says Eve, trying to say “do not open!” a line from a show. She says it with such gusto we can’t help but laugh. 01/09

“When it’s nighttime, the sun is shining on the other side of the world,” said Lex as we drove at night. 12/29/08

“I’m blinking colorful airplanes on the ceiling!” says Lex. 12/12/08

“Mom, you’re a silly creature!” says Lex, as I’m sweeping the floor. 11/02/08

“Baby! Woof!” says Eve, pointing to a cute baby in public. 10/28/08

“Self, self!” says Eve, all the time!!

“We can eat planets of dried soup,” says Lex, telling me what he wanted for breakfast. 10/12/08

“It’s a birthday party!” says Lex, as we stuff all people-like toys we can find into a block tower. 9/18/08

“Dad, did you see that poop?” he says referring to the load in the diaper I just removed.
“Yep,” I reply.
“It’s like a castle!”
– Lex 2008-08-23

“I would not want to share a birthday with a dinosaur.” – Lex, entirely out of context, while sitting at the kitchen table. Sadly, I imagine we all do. 2008-08-14

“The dogs are ok!” – Lex, referring to Doggie and Snoopy Dog, who were “sleeping” in the blanket tunnel he created for them. 08/13/08

“Mom, I think there’s no steering wheel in the back for me. We need to go to the steering wheel store and get me a steering wheel.” – Lex 07/09/08

“Remember when we went outside and it was my party?” [me: yes, what was your favorite part?] “Daddy got me some milk.” – Lex 06/28/08

“Mom, thank you for coming to the meeting with me. I really needed you.” – Lex, in regards to the WW meeting we attended earlier today. 06/24/08

“I think I need to put doggie in the belly carrier.” – Lex, as he wrapped doggie in his baby blanket and neatly tucked it around himself. 06/01/08

“I’m trying to take a picture of my poopy butt!” – Lex, bare naked, standing on a stack of stools and trying to climb up onto the bathroom counter. 05/26/08

2 thoughts on “Quotes

  1. Pingback: Driving a Prius!

  2. Pingback: How old am I?!?! | Calm and Chaos: Life with kids

Comments are closed.