Last week I was happily going along, painting my bathroom, chilling with the pets, enjoying life, when I woke up one morning and my eye felt weird. By the end of the day my mouth could barely pucker enough to drink from a straw. I turned to Dr. Google and diagnosed myself with Bell’s palsy.

Sunday morning I was debating about seeing my primary care on Monday, or going to urgent care immediately. Dr. Google said that the sooner you begin medications, the faster it will heal, so I decided to head to urgent care.

Upon arrival, they jacked up the urgency a thousand percent! Before I was even fully checked in they pulled me back into the examination room, asked me a hundred questions, and called the ambulance to get me over to the emergency room. I was shaking and crying and my blood pressure was super high, but that was all because of the sudden urgency. I wanted to drive myself, but they wouldn’t let me. Apparently Bell’s palsy symptoms are quite similar to stroke symptoms and they were taking no chances with a potential stroke! Fortunately I did not have a stroke!

Once in the ambulance things calmed down a bit and my blood pressure went right back to it’s usual low. They asked me a bunch more questions, tested my blood sugar, and tried to insert an IV. Tried and failed as shown by the giant bruise I now have!

When we got to the hospital a “stroke team” meet us in the hall. After a very short exam, consisting mostly of blinking my eyes real fast, the neurologist cancelled the stroke call and then all urgency disappeared. I was parked in a ER room and there I stayed for several hours. They ran an IV, took blood, asked more questions, eventually did a CT scan, and finally released me, with a few prescriptions and an appointment for an MRI.

Bell’s palsy “is a condition that causes sudden weakness in the muscles on one side of the face…. Experts think it’s caused by swelling and irritation of the nerve that controls the muscles on one side of the face. Bell’s palsy could be caused by a reaction that occurs after a viral infection.” In my case, the doctors ruled out stroke, Lyme, and obvious viral infection… leaving a big *shrug*, which is usually the most common ruling.

Alan answered my teary call from urgent care and kept me company in the hospital. <3

It feels SOOO weird, and it’s crazy to look at the pictures and barely be able to tell. It’s the right side of my face (left in the selfies above). My right eyelid doesn’t close on it’s own, I can’t control my cheek or the side of my nose, and the right side of my mouth only moves a little. I can’t purse my lips or open a full wide O mouth. My eyes are naturally a little droopy, which I guess makes it harder to tell. Did you know that when your face muscles don’t work, the eyes default to open?! Doesn’t that seem like a flaw in evolution? You’d think they would close for protection, but nope. I’ve been manually closing my right eye, with my finger, for most of the week, and taping it closed at night.

I texted my boss Sunday night with the update. I told her I’d be in a little late on Monday because I wanted to sleep and also had to pick up my meds from the pharmacy. She told me to take some time if I needed it. I decided to work from home on Monday and Tuesday. I wasn’t quite ready to face the world yet. I had to learn how to drink without dribbling down my chin!

It’s been an long week. The meds and the weirdness in my face left me feeling really exhausted, and my had is full of fog. Other than working, I’ve been a total sloth all week. Recovery mode! Today is my last day on the meds, so I’m hoping the fog lifts and I get my brain back again. The Bell’s palsy symptoms can take 3-6 months to fully clear up, but hopefully the meds will move that process along a little faster.

One upside is that I recently started taking Zepbound, a weigh loss drug, so I’m hardly hungry at all. My initial consult with Dr. Google was to find out if droopy face is a symptom of Zepbound, but Dr. Google, along with all of the other doctors I’ve talked to this week, all agree that they are unrelated. So I’m enjoying the few pounds I’ve lost so far and the lowered appetite while my face isn’t working well anyway. It’s going to be an interesting Thanksgiving!

Through it all, these two were by my side. :)

1. Nothing moves. Not the stuff on the table or the counter. Not the dirty dishes. I can put stuff down and it stays there until I do something else with it.
2. No one is here to walk the dog or feed the cat.
3. Cat litter stinks (tbh, that’s no surprise!)
4. No one is going to eat the stuff in the pantry or the fridge. I have to eat it or toss it.
5. All the clothes in the laundry are mine.
6. At the end of the evening, when my brain starts wondering who is where and when everyone is getting home — I have to remind myself that no one is coming home. Not tonight, anyway.
7. I can have lunch and brunch and tea and visits with friends all I want, without having to coordinate schedules with anyone else (tbh, that was mostly the case when the teens were home too.)
8. However, after being out for hours, I do have to remember that no one is home to walk the dog or feed the cat.
9. This post sounded much more clever in my head.
10. I am not at all alone.

I have an awesome book group that I started two years ago, fully inspired and based on Rosy’s book club. (I’ll give her credit every time!) We have eight members now and really enjoy each other’s company. Also inspired by Rosy’s club, we decided to take a vacation together. I booked an ocean front house for the weekend. Seven of us spent the weekend reading, talking, laughing (so, so much laughing!), singing, and relaxing. It was great. We carpooled there and back in two minivans, which gave us even extra time to chat and laugh, and a chance to stop for donuts on the way home!

We are already planning next year’s trip(s)!

This is a little old, and also boring, but I want to document anyway. After several years (4ish, I believe) and several steroid injections (three, maybe?) I went back in for another subglottic stenosis procedure on November 5th. Election day! It was a good day to be sedated.

I went back to my DHMC doctor, instead of going to Boston again. My local guy is doing the injection procedure now, so I was ready to switch back.

The process went well and I’m feeling better after it. He also did a steroid injection at the same time. Hopefully it lasts awhile!

Can you tell the needle spots from the freckles? :)

I saw a meme that said something like:

June is like a Friday, full of excitement for the summer/weekend;
July is like a Saturday, lots of fun, trying to do all the things to make the most of your summer/weekend;
and August is list a Sunday, dread sets in, never long enough, torn between relaxing and stressing

(This would be better if I could actually find the meme, but instead you’ll just have to use your imagination.)

I knew, last year, when I took this new job, that this summer would be tough. I knew that having minimal vacation would be a bummer. So really, feel free to skip this whole sad sack post, but I’m writing it anyway.

I didn’t miss (too much) the end of school year chaos and fun, and I DEFINITELY won’t miss the August stress, but the June summer is not the same when you have to work all year. My coworkers all have lots of saved up vacation time (how?!) and have been taking weeks off here and there. My bosses take LOTS of weeks off. Me and my miniscule vacation time are spending a lot of time at work these days. Well, the usual amount of time, but it feels like a lot when everyone else is on vacation! I know this is a weird post to follow my DC vacation post, but that was one day off, plus two weekend days (which were great!) and therefore no downtime at all at home. Working every 3rd Saturday also means less time at home. In theory you’re supposed to have a weekday off if you work a weekend, but in practice it ends up being shorter week days and no break. Sigh. It’s already the end of July and I haven’t even done any summer things. No Maine trips, no beaches, no water, no house projects, minimal sleeping late. Sigh.

Ok, enough of that. I’m going to turn off the computer and go outside. 🤗