Tag Archives: Sweden

She’s coming home!

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In a big turn of events, this beautiful human is heading home!!

On Tuesday I got an email from her Rotary coordinator in Sweden. He said they were having a meeting on Wednesday and asked that we be present for it. Alan and I logged in to the meeting Wednesday morning to meet with Eve, her host dad, her youth exchange coordinator, and a higher up in Swedish Rotary.

The goal was to talk with Eve about what’s going on and address issues they each were having with the exchange. Eve was unhappy with lots of things, her host family was unhappy with her eating habits (apparently they had dealt with anorexia in the past and were feeling triggered), and her Rotary folks were unhappy with her lack of participation in Rotary activates. We had a good conversation, resulting in Eve saying she really just wants to go home and the Swedish folks saying they don’t think the program is working in this situation. So it was decided — she’s coming home!

There were a lot of emotions at the meeting, and afterwards (in my case, anyway, I can’t speak for everyone else), but ultimately I think the right decision was made. Eve was not able or willing to make the changes necessary for the program to be successful; her host family was kind, but missing the siblings and connectedness to draw her out; she spent a lot of time alone; she was exhausted from her school-related internship; and everyone was worried about her eating habits. I guess I can take some of the blame for that one. :/

Eve spent the end of elementary school and all of middle school completely miserable. She hated her friend group and everything about school. Of course, Covid didn’t help… though in her opinion it totally helped because it allowed her to stay home and ignore the real world! We started the Rotary Exchange program in that mindset. In high school things slowly turned around, with last year being an awesome year in school. She had a new (old, better) friend group and enjoyed her classes – mostly. She was interested in traveling, but less interesting in escaping from high school. Now, in Sweden, she is miserable again. It has been hard to support her from afar in a situation so reminiscent of the past. I tried balancing support and distance, encouragement and hands-off, etc. Regardless, it didn’t seem to matter.

Once the decision was made, the tears were released, and goodbyes were said – the planning began! She is thrilled to be coming home. I am, of course, thrilled to have her back! I spent today coordinating Rotary approvals, flight arrangements, school re-enrollment, holiday travel plan changes, etc. All totally worth it so I can hug my favorite baby girl a million times on Sunday!! 🤗

Her Rotary coordinator her in the US sent her a very nice email today. He said:

“It will be natural to second-guess some things for a while. Decisions to go on exchange, decisions to stay or not stay; all very normal and expected when a decision like this is made. If these things cross your mind, please remember that success can almost never be measured with a calendar. If you have grown, learned new things and met new people, the exchange is a success and much more importantly, you are a success. The end date doesn’t matter as much. We look forward to welcoming you back and hearing about your time in Sweden.”

I thought that was very kind and I appreciate their support. I’ll be sure to tell them. 😊

All the feels

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We had a busy week. Lex was home between A Term and B Term. He successfully finished his first quarter of college! He ended it with two A’s and a B. The B was in Calc III, a class that the FB Parents groups says is the most “NRed” class at WPI. “NR” means “not recorded” and is an option if your grade is too low and you don’t want it to count. I’m not sure if the credit counts or not, but Lex was pretty pleased with his B in that class.

He came home last Friday night and, at the urging of high school pep band friends, he went to the homecoming football game and played with the pep band. River went to pep band that night too and they all had a great time!

On Sunday we had our usual family chat with Eve, but this time all of us were in one place, sharing one screen, EXCEPT Eve who was on the other side of the ocean. It quickly devolved into tears. I’m not sure if it’s because we were together or not, but she was pretty miserable. She’s had a cold for awhile and medicine is weirdly limited there. They don’t have the standard go-tos, like DayQuil and Sudafed. She said even Tylenol requires a prescription. So weird. Her host family tells her she needs to eat more healthy (true) and bought her some decongestant that takes 6-12hrs to kick in. Weird. As I’m typing this I realize I should research why Sweden is so anti-OTC meds. I don’t remember that from almost 30 years ago! Super weird!! 😮 So she cried through that whole conversations. Everything is awful, everyone is terrible, she hates it all, and misses everything at home. Sigh.

Lex came to visit me at the library on Monday. I gave him a tour of the library that he hasn’t seen since he was four years old. No surprise, he didn’t remember the place! :) I got to show him off to my co-workers, then we got pizza at the pizza place next door and enjoyed each other’s company.

The week went on. My job is so low-key that I am quite often bored with *nothing* to do. I have cleared up both of my email inboxes. I went from 2K+ in my personal account and 8k+ in my school account (still active because I’m still doing the website work) down to 15 and 2 respectively. I didn’t read all the emails (of course!) but I scanned the subject lines and initial text as I deleted them. When I got to the March 2020 emails in my school account I noticed my heart rate increased and my breathing got shallower and faster. I literally had to close my email and step away from my computer for awhile. I didn’t come go back to the email until the next day. It was such a strange experience as all the memories from the school closure came flooding back.

On Thursday the boys had some friends over. Simon, Jonah, and Liv. They hung out, watched YouTube, laughed, ate, etc. All the things teens do and they were all happy to have Lex back for a few days. Part way through the evening I got a text from Eve saying it was hard to be away when all of her friends are hanging out at her house. True, of course, but I was surprised she knew. She said they were posting quotes and picture on Discord. I had to politely ask my house full of teens to stop posting on Discord for the evening. Eve and I continued to have a long, downer conversation via text, while I simultaneously texted with Joyce about her exchange student experience. Eve hasn’t directly asked to come home, but she was hinting at it pretty strongly. Sigh.

Eve texted me later that night and said her bestie, Simon, had sent her a bunch of love via text and memes. 💗

Follow-up conversations with family and friends have shown me that Eve is pretty positive when texting with everyone else. She’s saving the tears for me. Good, I guess.

Last night we (me and the boys) joined Rosy and two of friends at a local pub for dinner. The service was slow and the music was loud (but good!), and we all had fun.

We had another family chat today (since I’ll be busy tomorrow) and it was once again all of us here and Eve there. I tried having us all join from our own devices around the house, but apparently my broadband can’t support three independent video conference streams very well, so the conversation was choppy. We ended up consolidating on the couch with my computer. Eve said she isn’t bothered by our being together, but she definitely got more emotional after we gathered on one computer. We had a good chat though and I managed to end it on a high note with everyone happy and smiling. :)

Lex decided to go back to WPI today instead of tomorrow so that he has a day to settle in. So weird that WPI is now “home” and he needs that day to settle in there instead of here. It makes sense, but still weird. He packed this morning, after our chat with Eve, and we once again played the “waiting for the dryer” game. A perennial favorite (ha!) in this house. By the time the laundry *finally* got done, Lex was overcome with a wave of emotion. He was tired today and doesn’t generally do well with transition, but when it was time to get in the car he started crying and worrying and all the emotion came out. Way more then when we dropped him off in August! He said he was too tired, he didn’t want to back to dining hall food, packing was too hard, etc. We talked about how hard it is for vacation to end and the stressors of getting back to the “real world.” It’s so surreal to me that the “real world” is no longer here with me. Alan picked him up last week and brought him back to WPI today. It gave them some good quality time. Alan texted me hours later saying he just dropped off a happy boy at college. Whew! I sat down on the couch to read and promptly fell asleep for an hour. I think I was emotionally drained.

Rosy and her friends are in town for a lovely New England weekend. Unfortunately the universe said NO, and it has been raining the entire time. They spent the day exploring in the rain, then went back to their Airbnb for the evening. I was going to join them, but when I woke up from my nap I could not motivate myself. We will be spending all day tomorrow at King Arthur Flour doing a cake baking/decorating class, and then my book group will come over tomorrow afternoon to meet Rosy’s friends and help us eat four cakes! This afternoon I spent a weird amount of time sitting at my table, unable to get up and go hang out with her and friends, thinking about my messy house, thinking about socializing, thinking about kids, etc. I was just stuck. So I did the lame thing and bailed on socializing. (Sorry, Rosy!) Then I hand washed some dishes, folded the laundry, and swept the floor (my roomba is broken and the floor was long overdue!). Then decided to write a blog post. :) Above the laptop screen right now I see my couches that need vacuuming tonight (stupid pets) and a pile of TLC goodies for Eve that I need to ship as soon as I can find a box for them. I think I’m going to vacuum the couches, watch some TV, and crash.

I’m excited for cake baking tomorrow, and spending time with Rosy, her friends, and my book group. Then settling back into my new life on Monday with just me and River in the house. Plus the always needy pets, of course! :)

The teacher in my is dying to ask: How many emotions did you see in that text? The title said “all” of the emotions; did you see “all” of the emotions there? What other emotions can you think of?

The sane person in me says: Tessa, get a hobby! LOL.

Eve conquers the world!

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Eve began her amazing Swedish Rotary Exchange Student adventure yesterday. Today was her first day in Sweden.

Alan and I drove her to the airport for a 5:15pm departure. As a minor we had the option to pay an extra $150 for the “unaccompanied minor” program that includes many supports, including parents being allowed through security. We opted not to pay for that program, but the airline and airport on the phone a few weeks ago said frequently parents can go through security anyway with a minor, but it’s up to the discretion of the airport check-in agent. How’s that for stressful?! Her ticket was booked through KLM, but the first leg of the trip was run by Delta, so we weren’t sure where to check in. We started at the KLM desk who told us that parents could not go through at all (I almost cried!), but then noticed it was a Delta flight and sent us to their counter. The line at Delta was much longer, but we persevered and made our way to the counter. The woman there was more accomodating of my parental request. She asked which of us would be going to the gate and I was like “uh, both of us, please.” She turned to the agent next to her and asked if that was ok and he was like “sure, whatever.” I thanked them both profusely!

We made it through security with minimal trouble. They pulled Eve’s suitcase aside to check it because she had a weird high-tech looking reusable straw (thanks Joyce!) and a bag of metal stick pins (for Rotary). They TSA guy was confused by both, but figured it out and let her through. Thankfully!!

We got to the gate about 10 minutes before the started boarding. Perfect amount of time for a few pictures and an bathroom break. :) Then we said our goodbyes and she got on the plane. There were definitely tears on my end and probably on her’s as well.

The plane then sat at the gate for like 45 minutes before it finally pulled away. I don’t know what was going on all that time, but Alan and I sat at the window and made up stories to make ourselves laugh. There was another group that missed their multiple “final boarding” calls and only showed up after the gate was closed. The guy kept knocking on the door to the plane ramp, as though someone was standing on the other side, ready to open the door for him. It didn’t happen, but they made a scene so we figured that was probably the hold up. They didn’t get on the plane (I don’t think they ever reopen the door once it’s closed!) and finally it taxied to the runway and took to the air.

By this point Alan and I were very hungry and facing Boston traffic, so we decided to get dinner at the airport. :) Not the most thrity decision, but definitely made for a better ride home. Alan also need to get something from IKEA, so we swung by there first before heading north again.

I watched Eve’s flight on FlightAware, as though the love and support she was getting from me, Alan, and all the family was keeping that plane in the air!

She landed in Amsterdam around 12:30pm and I got a flood of texts that she had written during the flight! I’m glad I got them once her plan was safely on the ground.

She found her way to the next gate and had just a short wait before they boarded and departed. The second flight was just 1hr 20m. She was in the air. Later I saw a notification that the plane had landed so I started getting ready for bed. Then, much to my surprise and her frustration, I realized the plan had returned to Amsterdam! They found something wrong (she doesn’t know what) halfway through the flight and decided to turn around. The plan was in the air for 42 minutes before landing again in the same place. She was very frustrated and not feeling well at all.

Apparently they put everyone on a bus and “drove around for a long time,” stopping randomly and opening the door, then closing it and continuing to drive. She has no idea what was going on and said no one was making any announcements, in English or Dutch. The KLM app and the FlightAware website both said the flight had landed in Amsterdam and all is well. The flight app her host family was looking at said the flight had landed successfully in Sweden! Technology was no help and she was very frustrated and feeling bad.

Eventually they put her back on an plane and at 4am my time she took off again for Göteborg/Gothenburg. I set an alarm for one hour and took a power nap! LOL. At 5:30ish she texted again, on the ground in Sweden. She had some trouble figuring out which carrousel her luggage would be on, but eventually figured it out. At 6am my time I got a text from her host family that they had connected, so I sent hearts and zzzs to everyone and feel asleep!! (or at least tried to, the cat and dog made it difficult.)

She’s texted me a little a few times today. She’s feeling a little sad, a little lonely, and a lot nauseous, which I’m sure is stress related. She’ll be ok, I know. I am keeping the texting to a minimum at the beginning, to allow her time to make connections with her support people there.

She’ll be spending a few days with her Rotary Youth Coordinator while her host family gets their daughter off to Chile, then she has a week at a Rotary Orientation camp, then she’ll settle in with her host family and start school. Her host parents got her a new SIM card for her phone, and have taken care of getting tickets to a show for her and their teenage kids, and getting her a train pass to the orientation camp.

I’m sure many more Sweden stories will come, but I’m going to end this post with a HUGE shout out to my parents who went through this process in 1994 when I went to Sweden, without the ability to text with me or monitor my flights online. I don’t know how you did it, but I love you and so appreciate that you did! <3

Göteborg!

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I think I’ve fallen behind on blog posts about Eve. Oops! She’s got big things going on too!

We found out that she’s going to Göteborg (aka Gothenburg) in August. She’ll stay with a family who lives in an apartment right in the city. They have three kids: a son who is grown and out of the house, a daughter in her last year of schools, and a daughter who’ll be doing Rotary Exchange in Chile. They have a cat and a dog and a “weekend house” by the water. Eve is pretty psyched about all of this. Rotary in Sweden did a great job reading her application and finding her a good fit. She’ll be attending a trade school (that’s how it works there) with a focus on animal care. She’s thrilled about that. And today we learned that she’ll attend a week-long orientation camp with other exchange students after she arrives. She’ll have a week with the host family, then a week at camp, then school will start. They want her there by August 1st!

Last week she had a video call with her Rotary Exchange coordinator, the person who will be her Rotary contact over there. Today she did a video call with her host parents. She has been texting with the daughter of MY host sister, and with a young woman who helps with the Rotary Exchange program in Sweden. I’m amazed at how different her experience will be, thanks to advances in technology. I’m sure there will be pros and cons to it, but right now we’re experiencing a whole lot of pros!

She spent last weekend at an Outbound Rotary Exchange event where she got to hang out with other outbound students and some inbound students in the area. It was a big house on a lake in NH and she had a great time with the other kids.

Eve is an entirely different person this year. For the past few years she has *hated* school and spent her time with some mentally toxic people. This year she has a much better, much more positive friend group, she’s taking classes that she enjoys, she’s made some connections with teachers, and overall is a much happier human being. When we first started talking about Rotary Exchange it was, in part, because she was so miserable at school. I’m hoping that she’ll be able to enjoy this upcoming year in Sweden, then return home to the same group of friends and positive school relationships. I’m sure they’ll be some bumps in the road, but I’m so happy with how much better she is doing this year! I can’t wait to experience this foreign exchange adventure with her, from the comfort of my couch. :)

Eve absolutely loves her Advanced Bio teacher. On all of her bio tests, Eve draws little black cats doing things. Often it’s a series of motions, one on each page, flip-book style. Her teacher loves it and often draws little additions to the sketches. Eve decided to make cookies for her bio class this week, with a few black cats just for the teacher. 💗

Rotary Update

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We spent the day today at a Rotary Exchange Student event. Each of the outbound students presented on their designated countries, we learned about insurance, the visa process, and more. Lots of nitty gritty. Eve wore her blazer (and jeans!) and did the most entertaining presentation. Not necessarily the best, but definitely the most in-depth and funny. She got lots of compliments afterwards. :)

I was hoping for more placement information, but they don’t actually have that info yet, so we continue to wait on that. In the meantime, lots of paperwork to do!

  • Love this kid!
  • They had lots of tech issues, so Eve and Alan jumped in to help.

She’s going to….

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SWEDEN!!!

https://youtube.com/shorts/BJb2wiN328Y
(I just spent far too long trying to get this 7 second video to embed in this post. YouTube changed something and I can’t figure it out. So, click the link if you want to see her finding out her country assignment.)

Last fall Eve applied to be a Rotary Exchange student and today we went to a district meeting and found out her country assignment. Sweden! It was her second choice, but she is happy and already getting excited about it. She immediately started asking me lots of questions about the language (she loves languages) and I got to display my poor memory and lack of language skills. We might be relearning the language together. 😄

Tonight we went through my hope chest and found a few of my stuff from Sweden so many years ago. I have old journals I kept and my calendar book (pre digital calendar age!) and some photos and stuff.

Let the fun begin!