This is going to be a great summer. Why? Because Lex now likes apples AND he has started posing for me!! Yay!
His posing is sometimes silly, but at least I get his face instead of the back of his head.
Here's a happy boy, going to the country.
Lex climbed right up on the fence to watch the school busses.
Lex watching the busses
“Baby Wigwam died in Mommy’s belly,” said Eve to the midwife. That about sums up my day.
I’m going to post this, though I’m not sure how to even say it. Or how to tell people. Thank you, thank you to my mom for telling so many people today! I’m dreading going to school this week and telling all the parents who know, or friends and acquaintances I so confidently told just a few weeks ago. It will be awkward, and awful. Sigh.
Sunday night and Monday morning I had spotting again. Old blood, not bad, I told myself. Early Monday afternoon it picked up in quantity and I called the nurse. We chatted, she said old blood, probably not bad. Call back if it gets worse. I had the kids at the playground then and when we got home around 5:30 it was worse! Heavy bleeding and no longer dark, “old” blood, now bright red. Alan was in MA so I fed and bathed the kids and prayed the bleeding would stop, while mentally preparing myself to take the kids to the hospital that night. Fortunately Alan got home earlier than expected. I called the midwife on call around 7pm and spoke with her for awhile. She said I could come in to the ER for a heartbeat check, but since I had a scheduled appointment at 8:30am the next day it would probably be best to wait until then. Since whatever is happening is happening and not going to change in a few hours. I cried myself to sleep and tried to convince myself that since I wasn’t having any cramping it must be something besides the worst.
Alan brought Lex to school and then met Eve and I at the hospital for our 8:30 appointment this morning. We went through the usual blah (new patient stuff) with the nurse and as soon as the midwife came in I told her that I really REALLY needed to hear a heartbeat. Now! She tried, and tried, and couldn’t find one. So we went down for an ultrasound. I had a heartbreaking moment when the technician put the wand to my belly. I immediately saw the baby and the bright spot of the baby’s heart, not beating. I didn’t want to believe it, but it was very clear. She said the baby measured 9 weeks… and I was in for a 13 week appointment. It makes me cry just to think about.
Back with the midwife she gave me options for next steps. I chose to have a D&C and she was able to schedule it, conveniently, for this afternoon. Amanda came up to watch the kids for us, which was awesome! Alan and I took them out to lunch and then came home for naps. She met us here and Alan and I went back to the hospital for the surgery. Horrible, horrible experience with sounds I may never forget. As we left the lady at the check-in desk said “It’s been a long day for you two.” I wonder if she even knew. 8:30-4pm is a long day at the hospital!
Home now, obviously. Trying to just rest and recover. The pain is very mild now and hopefully will remain that way. The kids are handling the whole thing well. Eve was with me at the hospital for the midwife appointments and the ultrasound. She did an amazing job of acting sweet and loving me when I needed it. Alan left to pick up Lex from school and told him. Apparently Lex asked if we could have another baby in the belly soon :) They are sad, but not heartbroken. I’m sure they don’t fully comprehend the scope. Eve assured me that the baby monster in her belly (named Eve) is still doing well and will be born in the winter. I love my family so much!
So for now, goodbye baby Wigwam, my sweet birthday baby. We will always love you.
(I did take a quick trip to Lex’s new school this evening for a Kindergarten information session. :) More on that another day.)
Eve and I took a trip to a local farm today. They were having a Spring festival, or something like that. Lex has been asking to go there for awhile now and they were super excited when I mentioned it this morning, but when the time came to get going Lex decided that “my body just wants to stay home today.” So he stayed home with Alan (who had offered to come with us, but Lex insisted on being home) while Eve and I went. It was fun to be able to follow her around and just go where she wanted to go. We don’t get to do that very often. They had free ice cream and a fire dept was selling lunch items so we had ice cream and french fries for lunch and enjoyed the beautiful day. Eve said hello to all of the animals, giggled when the calf licked her hand, showed due concern for the sheep being dragged to its shearing, and overall had a great morning. I love her!
Saying hi to a cow
A cow
A concerned Eve. "Why didn't the cow say hi to me?"
Making friends with a calf
Before entering and exiting certain parts of the farm they ask you to clean your shoes. This might have been her favorite part of the day!
Running Eve. Silly girl.
A guy on the wagon ride offered to take a picture of us. It's kind of blurry, but cute :)
Free ice cream! Yum!
The weather forecast said thunderstorms all afternoon, but it’s 2pm now and still bright and sunny. We’ll see what the afternoon has in store!
The problem with Weight Watchers, or I should say my success with Weight Watchers, is that now I know what healthy eating feels like to my body. Why is this a problem you ask? Well, because I’m lazy and like junk food. I was sooo happy to be done with Weight Watchers. To be done thinking about my weight and counting points and thinking, obsessively, about food and it was all very irritating towards the end, especially after spending about six months “almost” at my goal weight. Gaining and losing those last few pounds over and over was making me crazy. I was so psyched to get that positive pregnancy test so that I could stop being so obsessive about my weight. And, of course, ’cause I want a baby! :) Anyway, the first few months were somewhat easy because I let the morning sickness be my guide and ate what my body would tolerate (Hello Cheez-Its!!), but now that the morning sickness has subsided and my energy is returning, I’m feeling fat and frumpy. Not fun! I’ve gained about 8lbs so far, which isn’t awful, but not a rate at which I wish to continue gaining! I’ve started thinking about healthy eating again and I think I’m going to try tracking points for awhile (not at weight loss level of course), but it’s just so hard to get back into it. I’d love to take 9 months off, but now that I know what healthy eating feels like, I hate the way my body feels when I feed it poorly. Deliciously, but poorly.
My brain says “salad,” my body says “salad,” but my mouth and hands say “Those Cheez-Its look good!” Sigh. I also know how hard it is to lose the weight so it’s a little scary seeing how easy it is to gain!
I started exercising again last week too, because I know that will help with the healthy eating, however after the spotting on Tuesday I’m a little nervous. I took the kids out for a walk today in the stroller and did some jogging, both with the kids in the stroller, which is a workout!, and with the kids jogging along beside, and that felt good. I’m going to ask the midwives on Tuesday if it’s possible that exercise caused the spotting and if I need any exercise restrictions. Sounds lovely, right?, but I would obviously prefer not. Hopefully I can get my brain and body coordinated and back on the exercise and healthy eating track. I KNOW it’s best for everyone that way!
PS. Happy May! May! Can you believe it! Lex has started his birthday countdown :)
I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen him write his full name. Cool, huh?! He insisted that he wasn’t writing his name, instead he was writing the monster’s name to go along with the picture of the monster. (For some reason his monsters never have arms) Either way, look at it, there it is, written in lovely dry erase marker. :)
I should do a collage sometime of all the funny positions we find the kids sleeping in, but for now, here is a picture of Eve, sound asleep last night. :)
Just a quick update. Thank you all for your calls and emails. I think everything is ok. The spotting stopped Wednesday afternoon and I haven’t had any cramping or other issues. I remembered that I also did a strenuous exercise routine Tuesday morning, which may have had an impact, I’m not sure. I used to do it all the time before I was pregnant, but haven’t done it since the morning sickness kicked in. Anyway, no more of that, just in case! I’m going to take it easy for a few days and I’ll be sure to let everyone know how it goes at my checkup on Tuesday.
To end my blog spurt on a funny note, check out this girl! She cracks me up!
Sorry again for the sideways video…
I saw a recipe for Pop Tarts on Smitten Kitchen and thought it would be fun to try. Lex was oddly excited about, considering he’s never had Pop Tarts (as far as I know!) We made the dough yesterday, but while it was chilling in the fridge he decided he wanted to make blueberry muffins instead. So we did that, but when we got to the “add the blueberries” step I discovered we didn’t have enough blueberries, so we added frozen strawberries as well. Yum! Went to bed last night with blueberry/strawberry muffins in our bellies and Pop Tart dough in the fridge.
After school today Lex reminded me of the dough and asked if we could make them. I asked if he’s ever had Pop Tarts and he said no, but a kid in his class brings them for snack and they look delicious. He also reminded me of an ad in Parents magazine for Pop Tarts with sprinkles. So he was eager to try some. I love that he’s eager to bake them and not insisting on buying them. In fact, despite the friend and the ad, he has never even asked me to buy them. I love him! Anyway, we made Pop Tarts this afternoon. I followed the King Arthur Flour recipe (though it was a bit different in the cook book I used!) instead of SK, but I’m sure all are both equally delish! By the time they were cool enough to eat it was pretty late so we all had a few little bites and Lex went to bed excited to eat a Pop Tart after breakfast. Yep, that was his idea. I told him he could have one for breakfast, but he decided he needed breakfast first. Smart boy! I think I’ll be quartering them before serving.
They did a great job helping, rolling the dough, mixing the filling, lining things up and making the layers. It was fun.
Not exactly beautiful, but not too bad considering how much of it the kids did.
Lex was really set on sprinkles, which require icing to stick. He isn't usually a big fan of sweets, so I frosted and sprinkled two and we will see tomorrow which way he prefers them. Important things to know, right?
At preschool drop off yesterday morning Eve was sitting at the table playing Play-Doh with a few of Lex’s classmates. She LOVES playing there. When I picked her up to leave one of the boys said, “Eve, Cameron just said he wants to marry you!” The other boy, Cameron, got all red and started denying it, loudly. Eve just stared at them. This cracked me up. I thought that was 2nd or 3rd grade behavior, but I guess not. Silly boys.
This is something I have to remind myself of often. All of the kids in Lex’s class are five, all of his other “friends” (in other words, my friends with kids his age) are five, and I tend to think of Lex as five as well. I know he isn’t, but sometimes I think he is. In fact, I had an embarrassing moment at the playground the other day when I was pushing Eve on the swing and chatting with some guy. He asked how old she was and then how old Lex is. I said, “My son is five,” and Eve quickly said, “Mommy, Lex isn’t five, he’s FOUR!” Of course, silly me.
Eve, of course, isn’t five. We all know that. But I often have to remind myself of that fact when I am getting very annoyed with her because she won’t sit still for Sorry (ages 6 and up!), or when she is dawdling in front of the neighbor’s house while Lex is on his bike at the end of the street already. I find myself hurrying her along more than I should and expecting her to keep up with a five year old (oops, four!) when she is really just barely three.
Note to self… my children are not five!