Deep breath… in… out… it’s been two
hours now and he’s still not taking a nap. He’s making a mess,
screaming, crying, throwing things, playing with toys, etc.,
but not sleeping. I’ve tried everything I can think of and it
doesn’t work. Sedating a toddler is off limits, right?? :) At
this point I don’t even want to get him up because he’s over
tired and will be a pain in the butt, but more so, I don’t want
him thinking that he just needs to outlast me to avoid taking
naps. Gah!! On the other hand, it’s getting pretty late for a
nap. If he does end up falling asleep I’m going to have to wake
him up shortly thereafter or let him sleep as long as he wants
and deal with this all over again at bedtime. I don’t think
he’s old enough to stop napping though. Kids are supposed to do
that until kindergarten at least, right? Certainly longer than
this anyway… The worst part is that I have so much to do
around here and I can’t even think when he’s like this. I feel
so drained just from dealing with him that it pretty much
shoots my afternoon.

Maybe I’ll just put
him in his room for an hour and let him do whatever the hell he
wants and then get him up if he’s not sleeping… will make for
some pretty crappy afternoons…

Blah! I
have so many happy, nice things I want to post, but now I just
have a headache, and I’m eating too much and I’m crabby.
Amazing how an overtired toddler can do this to a (usually)
rational adult. Maybe I’ll get some time and energy to post
some nice thoughts later.

Is that
enough whining for you? Thanks for reading!

I should be making a shopping list or
cleaning the kitchen or doing something equally productive, but
instead I’ll sit here and type for a few minutes. We had a
really nice day yesterday. The weekend was fun but crazy busy
(in-laws on Saturday and a balloon festival on Sunday) and we
were all exhausted by Monday. What’s new, huh? :) I had to stay
home on Monday to wait for the Sears guy (I love Sears service
repair!) I was a little annoyed, at first, but then realized
that it’s good to have forced down days sometimes. I got a lot
of cleaning done, Lex just chilled, and Eve slept. It was
really nice and low-key. Eve is approaching the age where she
can’t nurse and sleep just anywhere. Kind of a bummer because
it’s convenient when she can… but I knew the time would come.
She definitely nurses and sleeps better in quiet areas. Soon we
are going to be back in a morning nap routine and it will be
interesting to see how Lex and I handle that :) We typically
try to get out most mornings…

Lex is
awake and crying. More some other day…

The
poor kids were seriously overdressed. It was 55 when we left
and 70 when we got back, just 45 minutes later!

It hit me yesterday how much I miss my
one-on-one time with Lex sometimes. I miss our breakfast
routine and I miss going places with just him. Maybe I’ll have
to try and arrange an outing with just him soon. We went to the
farmers market yesterday. It was so nice. He played in the
fountain and at the little playground. Then we walked around
the booths and bought a cookie and some lemonade and sat down
to watch a guy playing the fiddle. It was really nice. Then Eve
woke up (as expected) and was hungry (also as expected) and
that was the end of our nice afternoon. I tried to get Lex to
stay in one place for awhile, explaining that Eve needed to eat
and it was dangerous for him to run away from me. The farmers
market is in a lovely little park which happens to be right in
the middle of a traffic circle – not the safest of places to
let a kid roam. Not surprisingly, he wouldn’t stay in one area
(we tried the fountain and the playground both and he kept
running away) so I ended up carrying him, kicking and crying,
back to the car and Eve cried on the way home because she was
still hungry. Kind of a crappy ending to a nice afternoon.
Nobody’s fault, of course, just life with two little ones, I
guess.

I had a nice evening with her later though. Lex
was long asleep and Eve was wide awake, talking and grinning. I
tried to get some on video, but she was fascinated and silenced
by the camera’s blinking light :) She cooed and gooed for me
while I folded laundry. It was nice.

But first, today we had a day of first.
One fun, one less fun. This morning, for the first time, Lex
got out of his bed and came into our room. I woke up to him
saying “good morning” :) Not so good, at the playgroup we went
to today, Lex very intentionally pushed a kid and made him cry
– several times! The first time I’ll call an accident. They
were in the bouncy tent and Lex fell against the kid and made
him cry. (for what it’s worth the kid was probably 3yrs and
definitely bigger than Lex.) But later they were in the tent
again and Lex went over and deliberately pushed the kid. The
boy started to cry and got out of the tent. Lex followed him
out and pushed him again, knocking him over! Needless to say he
was not allowed back in the tent. He has been in quite the mood
today. He spent most of the morning crying for no particular
reason, then was just rowdy and mean at the playgroup.
Definitely a first for him :/ There was some bad energy at the
playgroup anyway, so maybe that was part of the problem. He’s
napping now and hopefully will wake up a little happier.

Anyway, the point of this post is that life
(or me anyway) seems so up and down lately. I’m permanently
exhausted (why aren’t I napping now??) and can so easily go
from happier to cranky at the drop of a hat. Lex is the same
way. I’m not sure who’s feeding off of who here, but it kind of
sucks. He will be driving me crazy then turn suddenly sweet on
me… leaving me feeling guilty for being cranky. Or we’ll be
having a great day and suddenly, of the out blue, he whack me
across the face and dissolve into a crying fit. I know this is
the classic definition of “terrible twos”… two years old and
two kids two years apart. All normal, but man am I
tired!

Process developed and illustrated by Lex
Johnson (patent pending).

Step 1: fill a truck with
bunnies and fish.
Step 2: eat the fish and bunnies.

Nice and quite, so I thought we was
probably asleep. Went upstairs to return doggie to him and find
him sitting in his bed covered in Purel. He climbed on top of
the dresser, brought it back to his bed, and soaked everything.
Sooo angry! I changed him and all of his bed stuff (bye bye
blanket) and he screamed and kicked. I put him back in bed and
walked out. He screamed some more. I sat outside his door
listening to him throw his toys and started reminding myself
that anger breeds anger. After I calmed myself down I went back
in and he ran over saying “hurt self. kiss it make it better.”
So I kissed him all over and hugged him and told him that the
sooner he takes a nap the sooner he can come downstairs. We
cuddled and chatted for a few minutes and he laid down in his
bed with a new toy and blanket and closed his eyes. I came down
and turned the monitor off for awhile. And I’m forever grateful
that Eve is an easy, peaceful baby!

Some days are great, others…. I had to
confiscate doggie today in an effort to get Lex to settle down
and take a nap. He stood at his door crying “doggie, want
doggie” for about 5 minutes. It sucked. Then he started playing
with his toys again!! I just went up now to warn him that his
blanket is next. I’m such a mean mommy!! But it’s 2:15 and he
is overtired and still awake… and noisy!! Always noisy these
days. If he’s not asking questions, which is good from a
developmental standpoint and usually fun and cute, but when
he’s not asking questions he usually just making noise. Blah,
blah, alala, ohohloo, etc. Also good developmentally, I know,
but sometimes you just wanna say “shut up for a minute!” I know
this is payback ’cause I’m pretty sure I did the same thing to
my mom. Sorry mom!!!