Have you heard of this book, “Free-Range Kids” by Lenore Skenazy? She is the one who let her kid (9yr old, I think) ride the NYC subway system alone. The book and the idea have gotten a lot of attention lately. Awhile ago I read a book called “Protecting the Gift” (I think I mentioned it here) and it totally freaked me out and now I want to read Free-Range Kids to balance it out :)
Anyway, the point of this is that I had a Free-Range moment last night. We went to visit friends for dinner and they live on a farm with horses and chickens. When we got out of the car Lex really wanted to look at the horses. We spent some time in their yard but I wouldn’t let him get too close because I didn’t know if the electric fence was on and the pasture was super muddy. We eventually made it inside and a few minutes later the 5yr old son and a 9yr old guest wanted to go see the horses. Lex went with them and then Eve wanted to go too, so of course I followed along. The boys made a bee-line for the back pasture, down a long hill, around a corner, and through a ton of mud. Eve followed for a bit but I made her stop because neither of us really had appropriate footwear for the situation (neither did Lex, but he was long gone!)
When I stopped with her I found myself standing there for several minutes wondering if I should let Lex take off with these kids. Nothing wrong with the kids, of course, they are all friends, but they went around the corner and seemed to head off into the woods and that made me nervous. I watched Lex’s little blue hat bob through the trees and listened to their voices fade away and the whole thing made me so nervous! I picked up Eve and started to make my way through the mud, but then they came back into the main pasture area (still around the corner so I could only see them through the trees) and started just running around there.
I took Eve and we made our way back to the house. I told the other mom’s (the host and a friend) what was going on and the host said her son (5yr old) knows not to leave the pasture and the guest said her 9yr old is scared of the woods and would never enter them, with or without a grownup. This was mostly reassuring. I was just picturing the three of them wondering through the woods and Lex getting distracted by something and getting left behind. Eeek! Lex has little to no “forest safety” skills. Five minutes later they boys were all rambunctious and running back to the house and yard where we could see them.
It was such a weird and mildly scary feeling because I know they are all good kids and I know kids need to be free to roam and explore, but I can so easily imagine Lex lost in the woods and the older boys not even noticing he wasn’t behind them. And that idea scares me to no end!! I used to be a country girl, but I guess now I’m a suburban mom (is that possible in this area?!). Our big milestone this summer is that I started letting Lex play outside in the front yard by himself. Whee!!
I’m sure someday I’ll be eagerly kicking him out of the house, but for now he just seems to young. Can I use that excuse for at least another year or two? Please?! :)
