We may have begun a new experience in this wonderful world of parenting. Poor Lex, my trailblazer, always gets it first.
He’s been asking me to pick him up after school a lot lately, instead of taking the bus home. Not insisting, but asking. He settled on a once-a-week pick up and tells me almost daily that the day I pick him up from school is his favorite day. It’s so hard to tell with kids though. Once they go to school and spend all day with people you only sort of know… it’s just hard to tell what’s going on.
Anyway, he got off the bus yesterday very flustered and flushed. His coat was half off, his bag zippers open, the bag itself covered in dust. I immediately knew something was wrong and before I could even ask he started telling me that a kid he sat with was bugging him. Apparently this boy was pushing him, and took his backpack and threw it on the floor, and opened the pockets and took things out and threw them on the floor… hmm… now the paragraph above is making a bit more sense. He has mentioned once or twice in the past that this boy isn’t very nice on the bus, but he never made a big deal about it and I always suggested he just sit with someone else. Yesterday, though, it seems to have risen to a new level. We talked about it yesterday afternoon for awhile. We talked about what to say to this boy, and I again suggested he not sit with the boy (though I’m not sure who is actually sitting with whom, perhaps the other kid sits down after Lex). I also suggested he talk to his bus driver about it. I asked if the kid bothered him in school (they are in the same class) and Lex said “he keeps it secret in school and only does it on the bus.” I’m not sure if that means he doesn’t do anything in school, or he just does it quietly so the teachers don’t see. I suspect the former as there are plenty of other kids in school and it’s a less confined area.
This morning I talked with his teacher’s aid and she said she had not seen any such behavior from this kid or any other kid towards Lex at school. She was very concerned though and said she would discuss it with his teacher. She also asked if I wanted to involve the school counselor. Umm… I’m not sure what that exactly means. I suggested she hold off on that unless they saw the behavior themselves at school.
After I dropped Lex off at school I took Eve over to her school and had a chat with the bus driver. Conveniently, for me, he is also a janitor at Eve’s school and is very nice. When I approached him and asked if he had a minute to talk he immediately said, “I was hoping you’d come talk to me today! When I saw Lex get off the bus I knew something was wrong!” Turns out he has “written up” this boy several times for bad behavior on the bus. I’m not sure what a write up means exactly. I’m guess I’m fortunate Lex hasn’t come home with one! Anyway, he said he would take care of the problem and make sure it didn’t happen again. He said, “I take care of the little ones and won’t allow that on my bus!”
I walked away from that conversation with mixed feelings. Happy, because the driver seemed to really care about Lex, but also wondering a bit if I jumped too quickly to protect Lex. I don’t think so, but maybe. There is a fine line between encouraging your child to stand up for himself and take care of his own problems, and allowing a little boy to be pushed around by a much bigger classmate. Lex doesn’t have the size of some of the other boys in his class and he certainly doesn’t have the bad attitude! (though I think he has been practicing it a bit with Eve lately which DOES NOT make me happy and DOES make me think about homeschool again!)
When I left Lex at school this morning he said he was going to sit with another kid on the bus this afternoon. I guess we’ll wait and see how he’s doing when I pick him up. I really hope this disappears so he can enjoy the rest of the school year. Every time something happens he immediately starts protesting school and it takes me awhile each time to figure out what’s going on. I miss having him home with me all day!
