Tonight’s meal went much the same as last night’s with one small exception. I explained to Lex (again) that family meals are so we can all sit together as a family and spend time together. I told him that he doesn’t have to eat, but I would like him to join us at the table. Unfortunately I cannot force him to sit at the table, so I gave him the choice of joining us (eating or not), or being alone in his room. No playing. Guess what he chose? A good book in bed. Sigh. At least he didn’t fight about it and didn’t mention once tonight that he was hungry. When I was laying in bed with him at the end he said he wasn’t going to eat any dinner until it was something he liked and there was nothing on the menu that he liked. I told him that I would be happy to work with him to find dinner ideas that he likes, but cereal and yogurt (breakfast foods!) do not cut it as a family dinners. Sometimes they do, of course, but not for now. :) So we will try again tomorrow. At least he made it through the night last night, slept until a reasonable hour (6:30am, which is great in our house!) and didn’t even want to eat the minute he came downstairs.

Thanks all for the advice and support. Much appreciated and I’ll incorporate ideas as I can.

The moment you’ve all be waiting for. Tonight was night one of our family meals, in other words ONE meal and everyone eats the same thing (minus the meat issue, I’m not wavering on that one!)

I decided last month that I’m tired of catering to Lex’s ever diminishing meal requests. For awhile he ate enough variety, but lately it seems to be less and less. Things he used to eat (grilled cheese, for example) he will no longer eat. I think I can count on one hand the things he’ll actually eat. That’s annoying. It’s not healthy for him and it’s bad for Eve because she WILL eat lots of things, but only wants to eat what he is eating. When he eats poorly so does she, when he’s not around she eats much better.

For arts and crafts today we made placemats showing proper place settings. I'm hoping to get them involved with the dinner process by having them set the table.

I’ve been reading a book called How to Get Your Kid to Eat: But Not Too Much, by Ellyn Satter. Her overall advice is good but I’ve really latched onto her core concept about division of responsiblity. She says it’s the parents’ job to provide healthy meals on a regular schedule in a calm and pleasant environment. That’s it. It’s the child’s job to decide whether or not to eat and if so, what and how much. She recommends serving meals family style with empty plates and letting the kids pick what they want, with the assumption that everything on the table is healthy. When left to their own devices children are excellent regulators and will get enough of what their bodies need. They may eat nothing but carrots one night, but will make up for it another. That’s the theory (from her book and many others). I like it and I definitely see how nagging and pressuring a child to eat inevitably backfires and just ends up frustrating all those involved.

I announced this grand plan in the beginning of July, with little to no excitement from either child. Nonetheless I persevered and discussed with them along the way how it would work, how they could be involved, what happens if they don’t eat, etc. Last week I asked Lex if he wanted to help me choose recipes for the week (NO!), help with the grocery shopping (NO!), this morning I asked if he wanted to pick a meal from the list (NO!), help prepare dinner (NO!), you see where I’m going with this? :) Eve picked pizza bagels from my prepared menu list (I’m starting pretty basic here, nothing fancy!) and by this afternoon Lex was doing pretty well with the idea. He even said he would eat carrots and applesauce (my chosen side dishes) and might even try a bite of bagel. I was thrilled that he was even considering it! I made a fantastic dinner, as far as pizza bagels are concerned, with several different options, and Eve happily came to the table. Lex on the other hand hovered around the edges, but would not sit down, instead choosing to play in the living room. Not the outcome I was hoping for, but no real surprise either.

Yummy dinner!

I think Eve is really going to like this new eating plan. She didn't eat much, but she did eat happily. She actually chose, and enjoyed, a pesto bagel with tomatoes and mozzerella. Yum!

What did surprise me was that he didn’t fuss or fight at meal time. He also behaved very well for bath and bed time! I was sure that a tired and hungry boy would put up quite a fight. So sure, in fact, that I’ve been mentally preparing myself for it all day! He did get upset a few times that I wouldn’t give him any food (But mom, I’m hungry!), but each time he managed to keep himself under control and make smart decision that led to a happy (albiet hungry) bedtime instead of a fight. I’m proud of him for that. He fell asleep quickly, as he has been doing lately with no naps, and now I just hope he makes it until morning. Then we begin again :) I haven’t made changes to breakfast, lunch, or snacks, just dinner, so he should be happy again tomorrow… until he sees beans and rice on the dinner table! :)