On miscarriage

An interesting, and sad, thing I’m learning about miscarriage is just how many people I know who can say “I know what you’re going through.” Honestly. So many people. I was talking with a group of moms at preschool pickup and in the group three of them said “me too, twice!” and one had infertility issues to deal with instead. These are all healthy, smart, strong, confident women raising healthy, beautiful children — conceived before and after their miscarriages. It seems like such a silent pain. They say to hold off telling people about early pregnancy “just in case” and when I first found out I miscarried I dreaded having to tell people, but the more people I told the more “normal” I felt. It would have been so much more painful thinking I was the only one and not being able to talk about it. I would also be left feeling much less confident about my ability to try again. I wish I never had to deal with this, and I wish all of my friends never had to deal with it either, but I have gained a sense of closeness and camaraderie with these other woman and it’s nice to know that in a time of pain I have so many friends. I think I have been hugged more, and by more people, this week than in a very long time. Thank you all.

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