I’m sitting at the doctors office, all by myself.  It’s quiet and the waiting room is full of grown-ups doing grown-up things.  It’s lonely.

There was a lot I expected, even looked forward to, when Eve started kindergarten.  A little peace and quiet, the ability to get in and out of a store quickly, free time to exercise and do projects, etc.  Two things I didn’t fully expect were how quickly my time would fill up and yet, even still, how lonely it would be.  I think about this a lot.

This morning I went grocery shopping and was lonely.  Yes, I got in and out a bit quicker, though sometimes I get spaced out without kids to keep me moving, but I really missed having friends around to chat with.  The kids, yes, are my friends.  We play games and ride the shopping cart and share observations.  They are silly and chatty and need to be reminded a dozen times about basic things, but they are my buddies and are generally great company.  

I miss them when they aren’t around. 

Sometimes I even miss them when they are around!  They are so big now and always have their games together and they frequently want to be in a room away from me.  Sigh.  Yet another part of parenting they don’t tell you about, and even if they did I don’t think you can fully understand until you’re there. 

PS. This isn’t meant to be a complaining post, more just observation and documentation.