I’m so tired.

Alan sent me a movie today at
work. I open it up and watch Lex laying on the couch holding
his own bottle! I watched it like three times. It’s exciting,
but I feel like he’s growing up too fast. < begin tired talk > Sometimes I get so sad because I feel like I’m missing so
much of his growing up. Alan is seeing all of the first and I
only get to hear about them. Or I’ll say “wow, Lex just did…”
and Alan will say “yeah, he’s been doing that for a few days
now” :( On top of that I’m so stressed because we’re not
sleeping through the night yet, I’m worried about missing him
growing up, worried about getting everything done at work,
worried about actually seeing my husband on occasion, still
carrying far too much baby weight, and not
able to pump enough milk for Lex these days. Gah! If we weren’t
so completely buried in debt I’d quit my job and be home with
him. That would be nice. Sigh…

This week was our last with
Jan, our Good Beginnings volunteer. I’ll miss
her. We took her out to dinner instead of going grocery
shopping. When the food came Lex grabbed at her plate. We
laughed and moved it out of his reach. Later she was holding
him and he spit up, so she grabbed a cloth to clean it up, and
he grabbed a cucumber off her plate!! It was great little ploy.
We got it away before he stuck it in his mouth, but he did get
his salad dressing covered hand in there :)

Jan’s mom knit Lex the cutest
matching hat and booties. She has great timing because it’s
starting to get cold and I’ve been debating making him a winter
hat myself. The one she made fits perfectly and the colors
bring out the blues in his eyes. It looks awesome.

PS> My friend Amy is building a
house. Check out her blog for
details.