It was a misty, mizzly morning…
… and I went for a walk with my friend Elizabeth. We have always been playdate friends, though not long ago we finally came to accept the fact that our kids really don’t like each other. I think we both have known this for quite some time, but we turned a blind eye because we like hanging out together. Our visits usually take place at one house or the other. We drink tea and chat while the kids alternate between bickering, playing together, and playing apart. It worked well enough. Now both of my kids are in school full-time and her son is in school part-time and suddenly we are facing a new reality. Not so suddenly, I suppose. The start of the school year wasn’t exactly a surprise! I miss the hanging out together, drinking tea for hours, but now it seems like there are always other things to do. Things that are best done without kids happen during the day and somehow visiting with friends doesn’t make that list. An unfortunate oversight, I’m afraid.
I was very happy when we came up with the idea to walk and talk. We’re both trying to get in shape (a more ideal shape, anyway!) and so we met at a trail this morning and walked 4 miles, half of it up steep hills. We were sweaty and winded and it felt great! We got caught up, somewhat, on the past few weeks and got exercise and it was a great way to start the day. I hope we can make it happen on a regular basis!
This walk and my social situation at swim lessons reminded me of an article my mom sent me awhile ago. I just found it easily online. I love it when that happens! It’s called Friends of a Certain Age and ran in the NY Times in July. Give it a read if you are of “a certain age” and have friends. Or don’t have friends! :) The subtitle is “Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30?” which is a conversation I’ve actually had with friends before.
At swim lessons the parents wait in the bleachers while the kids swim. Each day I look around and see a handful of acquaintances I know. Parents from playgroups we used to attend, or from pre-school, or friends of friends I’ve met once or twice. Sometimes I get inspired to go talk to someone, but other times I just sit there feeling awkward. Should I go make small talk? What should I say? Why aren’t they coming over to talk to me? High-school insecurities that seem to follow you (or me, at least) through life. It’s like meeting people at a bar except they aren’t total strangers and you don’t have booze for encouragement.
Hmm… I just got distracted by an email from Joyce (yay!) and totally lost my train of thought. So I guess I’m done here. To summarize: I had a great walk this morning and got a chance to catch up with a good friend. Read that article. It’s interesting. Thanks Mema! I am insecure sometimes. Surprise! Joyce is doing ok right now. Yay!
We made it through day three of our super busy week! Day one and two were flawless, day three involved Lex and I showing up half hour early for a cub scouts meeting because I messed up the time (better early than late though!) and Eve dissolving in a ball of tears at the end of the day. Hopefully day four (our busiest) and day five (staring to slow down) go well!
PS. Lex is now selling popcorn for cub scouts. Lemme know if you want some and I’ll get you the details.