Parenting is a funny thing and if you’re
not careful you can make yourself crazy with self-doubt and
seconding guessing — trust me, I’m an expert!

We went grocery shopping this afternoon (Lex
choose to sit in the cart the entire time “so I don’t get
lost,” but that’s another story) and we got home around 6:30pm.
Lex said he wanted to listen to music for awhile and have no
bath and no stories. Alan and I agreed to this, so we turned on
a CD for him and he settled down in the living room. I brought
him a little food and Eve joined him for dinner in the living
room with the music on. This was good for about 1/2 hr until
Lex started getting a little rambunctious and kicked Eve off
her chair. She fell right over and cried, and cried, and cried.
I think she was startled and tired more than actually hurt. Lex
got a “so sad” in the office and Alan put Eve to bed. A short
while later Lex threw a ball at the TV! Luckily it was a soft,
plastic ball and did no damage, but OMG that is not good
behavior!!! I promptly turned off his music and he went to bed.
He screamed and protested and Alan ended up putting him to bed
in his clothes and all. No bath, no stories, no clean teeth, no
new diaper, no pajamas… no pieces of the usual bedtime
routine. We then proceeded to deal with him for almost two
hours. He would cry and scream, then settle down and we’d think
he was sleeping, but then he’d start crying a long, sad wail
again, or he’d get up and ask to come down stairs. It was
awful. But the worst part is that while dealing with a child
you have lots of time to wonder if you’re doing the right thing
and if he’s really that hungry and second-guess how you should
have handled the situation. It’s like adding insult to injury,
not only are you listening to a screaming child but you’re also
questioning every move you made and wondering if you could have
handled the whole thing better. Or maybe it’s just me? Anyway,
around 9:15 Alan tried to lay down with him which often settles
him down, but this time Lex ended up crying so uncontrollably
that Alan brought him into our room. I decided to bring him
some milk and we ended up sitting on the bed reading stories.
After a cup of milk, a few stories, and new pajamas (he was
apparently unhappy with the ones Alan put on him earlier) Lex
told me his body was tired and need to rest. He climbed in bed,
I stayed with him for a few minutes as he recapped the
situation (“I turned my shirt around so the picture was down,
then I pulled it over my head! I was crying and crying and I
didn’t like the pants daddy picked. The milk you brought me
makes me feel a little bit better.”) and then he went right to
sleep.

As I analyzed the situation I
think the problem is that there was no rountine at all before
we put him in bed. It was his choice, but that doesn’t mean he
knew how to handle it. Sometimes we miss one part of the
routine and he does ok, but tonight with NO pieces of the
routine at all I think his little routine-centric psychy
couldn’t handle it. Sigh. Parenting can be hard! But now we
have two babies sleeping peacefully and life is ok again. (Poor
Eve had to sleep through two hours of ordeal. Imagine the
dreams she was having!)