Parenting is hard, and other goings on

First the deep thoughts:  Eve’s spring concert is tonight.  It will be her last concert ever at DBS. Guess where she was?  Home.  She went to school today, participated in the dress rehearsal and even smiled through most of it.  Then she got to the library and said, “Please, please, I don’t want to go to the concert.  Please let me stay home tonight.”  Sigh.  I had a meeting and sub plans to write, so I told her we’d talk about it later.  Later came in the car ride home and I told her my true, honest thoughts.  I was (and still am) conflicted by what is the “right” thing to do.  On the one hand, I know she doesn’t love band, and she stuck with it all the way through the dress rehearsal, and truthfully I was tired and not interested in going to the concert either.  I’d already seen the dress rehearsal.  Skipping it is easy, but on the other hand, what lesson is that teaching?  Shouldn’t I be emphasizing the importance of following through, sticking with it to the very end, supporting your classmates and school, and just showing up?  I know those are all good habits to have.

The day was busy and the schedule had me getting home around 4:30, all three of us leaving for drum lessons at 5pm, and then getting back to DBS for the concert by 6:15.  Eve and I got home from school and found Lex at the table, completely stressing because he remembered a homework packet that he was supposed to be working on all week, but had forgotten.  That, plus a group project assignment that is due tomorrow and he is not happy at all with his group, therefore feeling frustrated by the whole thing.  We talked through the plans and around 4:45 I just said f*ck it and we bailed on everything.  Then I laid down on the couch and fell asleep for an hour!

Was that the “right” thing to do?  I don’t know.  I certainly think it was for this evening.  But whether it was the right thing to do when you look at the bigger pictures, I don’t know.  Should Lex have gone to that lesson because we committed to it and (likely) won’t get the money back for it?  Should he have had a bigger consequence for not remembering his homework?  I don’t know.  It’s 7:52 at the moment and he’s still working on it! (with a dinner break in there too)  Am I teaching my kids to bail when things are too hard?  Or to prioritize their own mental health?  I don’t know.  These are all rhetorical questions because I *do* know there is no manual for parenting and no clear, black and white answers.  We’re all in this together, doing the best we can with what we’ve got.  And today, I needed a nap.

Now for the lighter stuff:  Here are some photos from the past few weeks.  Life, overall, is quite good.  We have 13 more school days until summer vacation.  We have some camps planned for the kids, some conferences and professional development for me, and some downtime.  We are all looking forward to it.  Even Alan gets to sleep later on vacation days.

Eve made me this weird pot decoration for Mother’s Day. She filled it with sticks of gum, but I know she originally bought Twizzlers to put in it and I’m pretty sure they ended up in her belly instead.

It has been on the counter since she gave it to me and the more I look at it the more I like it. :) It is a sweet reminder to the little girl she is. The little girl who loves her mommy.

My parents were in town last weekend and we all went to a magic show.  It was fun.  Eve met a friend there and bought him a magic kit from the gift shop table.  He was so excited.  He was there with his grandma and the kids were thrilled to see each other.

The Magic of Bill Blagg!

Today I saw his grandma at the concert dress rehearsal and she handed me a package for Eve.  She said she was so moved by Eve’s thoughtfulness.

I love this note.

My life is to make miracles. I’m a magician.

The concert dress rehearsal went well.  I was there with wiggly kindergartners, but able to get a few pics of my own kid.

She *can* play the flute when she tries. :)

Singing. Her last concert at DBS and she’s wearing shorts and Navy swag.

Banging sticks on chairs. Is there a musical term for that??

On the way out of school she noticed her best friend’s hat on the lost and found shelf.  She grabbed it immediately and has been wearing it ever since.

The shirt is her new gift.

The other day my mom pointed out that all the other houses on our street (yes, there are four occupied houses now!) had benches on the porch, so when I saw this one for sale on Facebook I spoke right up.  Alan loved it and picked it up after work that same day.  Now we are cool like the rest of the neighbors. :)

It does look nice on the porch.

And it’s getting a lot of use already! Eve had her snack out there and I took a sneaky picture.

Lex is sitting out there right now doing his homework. Another sneaky picture. :)

Lots more on Lex tomorrow — the big birthday is coming right up!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.